We’ve been writing this little column for too long without quoting the Chovas HaTalmidim. Time to fix that.
The Chovas HaTalmidim is talking to a young student, and he says something remarkable:
“When we are speaking to you now, we do not know with whom we are speaking. And you also don’t know who you are and who you will be… [Perhaps] you will be a tzadik and a giant, the name of whom will spread from one end of the world to the other… How well have we heard about many great men of Israel that were not noticed as being any greater than their friends when they were little.”
Read that again. We don’t know who we’re talking to. And neither does the child. How often do we decide we know exactly what our kids are capable of? “He’s just not a learning kid.” “She’ll never be organized.” “This one’s the responsible one, that one’s the wild one.” We label them. We judge them. We set the ceiling on what they can become, usually based on what we saw them do (or not do) last Tuesday.
But here’s the truth: we have absolutely no idea what’s in there. That kid who can’t sit still during davening? Maybe he’s going to inspire thousands one day. That daughter who forgets her homework every single week? Maybe she’s going to change the world in ways we can’t even imagine. The son who drives you up the wall with his questions? Maybe he’s going to be the gadol whose sefarim we’ll still be learning three generations from now.
Or maybe not. Maybe they’ll be “just” good people: honest, kind, dedicated Jews. We don’t get to decide their limits. We don’t get to write the end of their story in Chapter Three. Our job isn’t to figure out who they are. Our job is to help them become who they’re going to be.
Because that kid sitting at your Shabbos table, the one who just spilled grape juice on the white tablecloth for the third time today? You have no idea who you’re talking to. And neither do they.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Nekuda Tova Listing.
