In a powerful essay on the true purpose of davening, the sefer Beyam Darkecha challenges perspectives we may have had about davening, and teaches us how to transform our davening into a heartfelt experience of closeness with Hashem.
What Tefillah Is Not
One reason we may lack passion for davening, is that we tend to misunderstand its true purpose. If we view prayer as a means to receive physical or spiritual blessing, we may become frustrated when we don’t get that for which we ask – thinking our prayer has failed. If we view the goal of prayer as davening with intent on every word (kavanah), we may also become frustrated when we lack such focus and then think our prayer is a failure.
What Tefillah Really Is
The essence of tefillah is the time during which we connect to our Creator and feel His presence with the highest quality and depth. It is to feel that we are standing before the King; He is right here with us, and we bask and rejoice in His presence.
If we see connection as the goal, we will start to measure success primarily by the quality of the time we spend with Hashem. Whether my prayer was answered is no longer as important, what matters most is that I spent time in the presence of my Creator, engaging with and attaching myself to Him. Even when I fail to maintain focus on every word, if I spent time in conversation with Hashem, that is a huge success! By prioritizing attachment as the primary purpose, we will actually find davening easier to understand and kavanah easier to achieve.
When we daven, Hashem gifts us with a greater ability to attach ourselves to Him – an extra spiritual capacity to understand and feel, with more depth, the reality of Him in this world and that there is nothing else besides Hashem (Ein Od Milvado). The more I see Hashem, the more I connect to Him, and the more I connect to Him, the more I see His presence in my life.
During prayer, we gain an extra capacity to internalize the Oneness of Hashem. An extremely simplified understanding of Oneness is: The ability to truly feel that Hashem runs every single detail of the world and everything is interconnected. He created everything we see; He orchestrates every event and interaction that happens, and He is the Source of everything – whether we perceive it as “good” or “bad.” Our entire human experience is merely an expression of His will, and we carry out His intention through our actions.
Yichud Hashem, Oneness of Hashem, can seem like a profoundly deep concept that is best left for great rabbis and Kabbalists, but that is simply not the case. Everyone has a starting point from which they can grow their understanding of Hashem’s Oneness.
As an example, let’s take someone who has a ‘simple’ relationship with tefillah – he davens to ask Hashem for his physical or spiritual wishes. Before we label him as “simple”, let’s think about what he is really doing. By praying for his desires, as opposed to asking his boss or doctor or someone else, he is clearly expressing his belief that Hashem is the true provider! The understanding that only Hashem can provide, and that human beings are merely the messengers who carry out His will, is a very holy understanding of Oneness! Now his job is to deepen this understanding by stopping and reflecting on what he is really doing – acknowledging that Hashem is his sole provider. The chitzonius (externals) of his prayer is a list of requests, but the pnimius (inner essence) is expressing his belief in Hashem’s oneness.
Looking at prayer through this lens will deepen our tefillah experience. By realizing these foundational principles of tefillah, we will gain a taste and develop a passion for prayer. What we used to consider a “failure” in tefillah is actually an opportunity to grow and is a blessing to deepen our relationship with Him. Every time we stop to pray, we now know we are creating an opportunity to come close.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 2.