Modeh Ani

The Ultimate Thank You Hashem

In this series on tefillah, we will go through the pnimius of each part of davening, primarily based on the second volume of the sefer Aish Ha’avodah, published by Aish Ha’chassidus.

The night is the domain of the klipos, a time of concealment and darkness, when most Yidden are not busy with Torah and mitzvos. When we wake up in the morning, there is a battle we must wage in order to shake off the spiritual disconnect of the night, and renew ourselves with vigor for another day of serving Hashem. Gravity pulls our body to stay in bed, and our neshamah urges us to rise like a lion to serve our Creator! This struggle between body and soul is a constant one, but if we can win that very first battle of the day, we can set the trajectory of our day as one where our body assists our neshamah in service of Hashem, instead of distracting it. That’s why the morning routine of a Yid is so crucial to the spiritual success of his day. 

The Baal Shem Tov says that because the stakes are so high in who wins that battle, the Yetzer Hara will do anything and everything to try to get us to wake up on the wrong foot. Sometimes the best strategy is to trick your Yetzer Hara – if you tell him you are waking up for a day of service of Hashem he will relentlessly try to prevent that. So tell yourself that you are waking up for a reason that sounds more mundane – you want to go have a delicious coffee or breakfast, or you need to get to work or take care of your family etc. Then once you are out of bed – bait and switch! Start your day with holy intent and purpose. 

The first tool Chazal gave us to start our day with holy intent is Modeh Ani. The moment we wake up, we remind ourselves of the most simple yet powerful reality – there is a Creator in the world, and He faithfully returned my soul to me. Where am I? Who am I? Before Whom do I lay down and wake up? What is my purpose and mission in this world? Modeh Ani is our morning reminder; our pledge of allegiance.

מוֹדֶה אֲנִי לְפָנֶֽיךָ מֶֽלֶךְ חַי וְקַיָּם שֶׁהֶחֱזַֽרְתָּ בִּי נִשְׁמָתִי בְּחֶמְלָה, רַבָּה אֱמוּנָתֶֽךָ:

I give thanks to You, the living and everlasting King, for You have restored my neshamah with mercy. Great is Your faithfulness.

Modeh Ani is an encounter with our core identity as a Yid (נקודת העצם). This is where we remember that our value is in the essence of who we are – we are children of the King. Ministers and assistants of the King are only worthy if they behave; if they rebel they are thrown out of the palace. But the prince and princess will always retain their place as children of the King, even if they act out of line. 

The first words we say in the morning are מודה אני לפניך –  Thank You Hashem! Thank You Hashem that you have faith in us – “Great is Your faithfulness.”  No matter what we did yesterday, today is a new day with a new mission, and if Hashem chose to return our soul this morning, that means He believes in us that we can fulfill today’s mission. Let’s return that faithfulness to Hashem by accepting today’s mission to do mitzvos and spread G-dliness! 

Moment of Mindfulness: “Hashem, despite the distraction, I know that my core identity is a holy neshamah. Thank you for the faith you have in me, trusting me with another day as a Yid! Please help me fulfill today’s mission”