The time period of the Yamim Noraim defines our true purpose in this world. What better preparation is there than to understand the immense gift of growth and teshuvah that we have been given? When it comes to our relationship with Hashem, growth is almost never a straight line upward. In fact, quite the opposite. When a person needs to rise from one spiritual level to the next, that ascent is often preceded by a sudden descent, an experience of katnus – smallness. That experience of disconnect, constrictedness and loss of perspective can be so demoralizing, specifically because it comes right when a person feels they are doing well. Katnus feels like “I was holding on level one, and now I’ve fallen, so I’m on level minus-one.”
But our tzaddikim teach us that the reality of katnus is “I was holding on level one, and now I’m on the precipice of level two. So this fall of mine is only a feeling I’m experiencing relative to being right on the cusp of level two.” When it comes to growth, there is level one, and then the level right before level two, (which feels small) and then up to level two, and then the level right before level three, which feels like a fall again.
This is why it is forbidden to give up hope, because hope is essential to the teshuvah process. Without it, the person stays stuck in the ‘fallen’ state, unable to propel themselves upwards. The tzaddikim teach that teshuvah – returning to our true source – was created even before the physical world itself. It is 100% part of the plan and the natural cycle of life to grow, fall, to grow again, and to feel like you are falling again. A person should never become discouraged or fall into the trap of looking negatively upon themselves. When we make a sincere decision to try again, even our past failures are transformed into merits, because they become the stepping stones we build upon to grow higher.
We see this idea from Shlomo HaMelech in Mishlei, “For a righteous man falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble into ruin.” What truly differentiates a righteous person from a rasha? It is not that the tzaddik lives a life free of failure, error, or flaws. Rather, the tzaddik feels himself falling repeatedly, but he chooses to get back up every single time. The rasha on the other hand, falls down, loses hope, and decides to remain stuck in his bad habits. Falling is a totally natural part of being human. Getting back up is where our true spiritual character is built.
Hashem wants our effort, our desire, and our active participation in life. True inner connection with Hashem requires bringing our good intentions out of our thoughts and translating them into concrete, practical actions.
As a woman, the Yom Tov season is full of concrete practical actions. We don’t get to stay connected to Hashem in an exclusively intellectual or emotional space. We are busy with doing chessed for our families, helping facilitate the mitzvos of the day, and often running the complex, logistical operation that is the home – the concrete, practical vehicle for avodas Hashem. When we bring our choices and actions into active alignment with Hashem’s will, we achieve a genuine sense of spiritual harmony and peace, despite the external ‘hecticness’ of the season.
Every single human being wishes to experience
true peace and happiness in life, but we often struggle to achieve it. The Hebrew word for peace, shalom, shares the exact same root as shleimus, meaning wholeness and completion. When a person lives with clarity, connecting their daily actions to the One who created them, they begin to experience an inner calm and wholeness that cannot be shaken by external noise.
The calmness of faith rests on the awareness of the Oneness of Hashem. When we are aware that Ein Od Milvado, everything is Hashem, we are more centered and calm. Complexity and anxiety begin whenever we stray from that unity and let the noise around us take over. The closer we attach ourselves to the One, the more tranquillity we feel. We reach this state through simplicity – by avoiding unnecessary inner conflict, taking life one step at a time, and breaking large, intimidating challenges down into small, manageable pieces. Along with simplicity, cultivating genuine joy takes real daily effort, but it is absolutely essential for our spiritual survival. Joy is not merely a pleasant feeling when things go well; it is the energy that fuels our courage, clarity, and resilience. Without joy, even small hurdles feel insurmountable. With joy, we gain the strength needed to navigate life’s greatest tests.
There is a story about a storm at sea that sank a large boat. Only one passenger managed to survive. When he was later asked how he stayed afloat while everyone else drowned in the turbulent water, he shared his simple secret: he grabbed hold of a solid block of floating wood, and with every massive wave that crashed upon him, he simply lowered his head, let the water pass completely over him, and then lifted his head back up. We are all living in the turbulent sea of life, and the waves of stress, worry, and hardship often threaten to overwhelm us. The key to our emotional and spiritual survival is learning when to bow our heads in humility and allow the waves to pass over us. We have One Father and One King. When we bow our heads toward Him with pure simplicity, standing before Him as our loving King, we can withstand any storm that comes
our way.
May Hashem gift all of us Siyata DiShmaya to see the truth clearly, giving us the strength to make the right choices that bring us closer to Him. May our heartfelt preparation for these Days of Awe bring us days of true peace, inner unity, and an unbreakable love with our Father, our King.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Nashim Tzidkaniyos 2.