Timeless Seder Night Adventure
Baruch is Back!
Baruch was super excited! He was buckled in the middle row of his family’s Honda Odyssey, headed to the most exciting Chol Hamoed trip ever! Geshmakeland! The guys had been talking about it for weeks in school. Brand new, and opening first for Chol Hamoed Pesach, Geshmakeland Amusement Park was the topic of every bus ride conversation, lunch table shmooze, and recess hock session. It had the coolest rides like The Flying Carpet, the Chi-Chihuahua Roller Coaster, The Billionaire Arcade, The Holiest Coaster in the World, and so, so much more! He glanced at the map on Waze. One hour and 15 minutes left! Baruch was super pumped but also pretty drowsy. Three days of Yom Tov with all the cousins and the late sedarim could do that to you! He decided to take a little nap. He curled up and tried to fall asleep.
“Baruch, wake up! Wake up!” “Wha- are we there yet?” Baruch threw his eyes open, startled. “Baruch!” “Are we there yet?” “Huh? Are we where yet?” Baruch looked around and saw the strangest sight. He wasn’t in the car anymore, that was for sure. It looked like it was pitch dark outside… but he was able to see perfectly. He also felt super holy, filled with a light he’d never felt. Baruch looked up at a boy near him. He looked familiar. “Eliezer?” He asked cautiously. “Well, who did you think it was?!” the boy replied. Baruch was beginning to understand. Eliezer was a boy he had met last year on his “trip” to Mitzrayim (— wait! see last year’s Pesach Nekuda Tova!) Was he back in Mitzrayim?!?
“Baruch! Quickly! The sun is about to come up, but I already feel such a powerful light! Hey look! It’s Moshe Rabeinu! Let’s go!” They ran outside as the sun was beginning to peek over the horizon. Moshe Rabeinu raised his hands… and a dark, black, foggyish substance started to creep down from the sky. Any remaining streetlamps went out with a woosh! Fireplaces went out with a hiss. Soon Mitzrayim was covered in darkness darker than the darkest night. Not a star could be seen, not a spark of light. Yet at the same time… Baruch could see the sun coming up!
“Baruch! This is so strange! I think this is another makkah!” “This must be makkas Choshech! ” Baruch thought excitedly.
Then the screaming started. “Look at Old Man Stafa!” exclaimed Eliezer. The Mitzriyim, confused, had begun to wander out of their houses, or at least tried to find the door, without falling down the stairs and leaving their houses. The old man completely missed the first step… and consequently all the rest of the steps heading out of his house. He bumped down the stairs, head over heels — bump bump bump! He landed on the floor all spread out. His cane bump-bumped down the stairs after him — and hit him in the forehead. Baruch exploded in laughter.
The street was full of Mitzriyim, waking up, dazed and confused, crashing into each other! “Help! I can’t see! I can’t see!” You stepped on my nose!” You stepped on my toe!” Baruch and Eliezer watched as one Mitzri thought he could escape the darkness and broke into a sprint down the street, yelling at the top of his lungs. He ran straight into a cart that looked like it used to sell fruits and vegetables — before Barad and Arbeh destroyed all of Mitzrayim’s food. Now it was covered in rotting leftovers and empty crates. The entire cart flipped over, sending apple cores cascading down the street. The Mitzri sat there covered in grime and wood splinters. He burst into tears. Baruch and Elizer could not control their laughter!
Baruch felt bad laughing at their bad fortune. Eliezer, as if reading his thoughts, said, “Baruch, these Mitzriyim, especially the ones you’re seeing now, tortured us for years. They made us stand blindfolded and hold lights for their parties all night long. Hashem is giving them exactly what they asked for, middah knegged middah! That one, for example,” Eliezer pointed to the Mitzri sobbing hysterically next to the demolished fruit cart, “stole a ton of money from me a few years back. To torture me further, he threw me into a dark prison cell with no air, no light, for days. Looks like he feels imprisoned in the dark right now!” Baruch felt better after that.
CHAPTER 2
Three days later, the choshech was so thick that the Mitzriyim couldn’t even move. Baruch was enjoying himself watching the Mitzriyim as if they were statues frozen in space. Old Stafa, the Mitzri, was dangling by one hand off the roof, and his son had fallen into — and now was stuck in — their thorn bush in front of their house. He didn’t look very happy, Baruch mused. And then… “How did they even get there?” Baruch chuckled. Just then, Eliezer grabbed his shoulders. “Baruch lets go!” he shouted.” “Where?” “Follow me!”
The two boys went to the nearest house. The door creaked open. The inhabitants looked like they had all been scared by a mouse: standing on one foot, or suspended in mid-air, hands over their mouths or outstretched in horror. The father of the house was standing on the counter, his head stuck in a cabinet, his feet very close to the edge of the counter. “Let’s go! whispered Eliezer. “These guys stole a bunch of stuff from me, a long time ago.” He said. “Hey, this is my sock!” he exclaimed. “Bunch of crazy Mitzriyim, “ he laughed. They searched through all the drawers taking stock of where all the valuables were. But they took nothing.
They went through a few houses. Finally they came to a big house, the house of Shepsut, one of the top officials of Pharaoh. They let themselves in, and stopped short. There, sliding down the banister, mid-slide, facing backwards, was the fruit cart destroyer man! He still had the rotten fruit grime all over him. The man looked terrified, and when they went closer, definitely didn’t seem like he even noticed people were there.
Baruch went into the kitchen. He began opening drawers frantically. “Eliezer! I found it! He called. There in the drawer was a sack with the name Eliezer written on it… and inside were what looked like 1,000 gold coins! “Don’t touch it,” warned Eliezer. “The Mitzriyim owe us a lot of money, plus all the things they stole. Well, get what’s ours, but not like ganavim in the night. Come Baruch.” On the way out, Baruch took the liberty to tickle the man suspended on the stairs. “Catch you another time!” he called.
CHAPTER 3
When the makkah ended, after six days of Choshech, Baruch wished he had brought his camera. All at once, Old Stafa plummeted from his roof, the mouse family all fell tangled in a terrified heap, and their father slipped off the counter, landing face first on the kitchen floor. Baruch thought of Shepsut, the thief, as he no doubt went flying down the banister to a great surprise.
A few days later, word spread that Moshe had given Pharaoh one last chance. This was it! Tonight would be one final makkah! The night was filled with screaming from all over Mitzrayim, except from the houses of the Yidden. After the seder, Baruch fell into a short, sweet, excited sleep.
The morning smelled fresh. The lingering smell of the delicious Korban Pesach wafted through Mitzrayim. Baruch felt full still; the taste of the matzah still in his mouth. Last night, Pharaoh had run around in his pajamas, looking for Moshe. The crying from each Mitzri house filled Miztrayim, as Baruch had joined Eliezer’s family for the seder. Baruch had taught them some of his favorite niggunim – they had never heard of Dovid Hamelech or Tehillim… (He wouldn’t live for another 400 years!) Baruch had to cover that one up, saying he was just so excited… or something like that…
He stood outside taking in the sights, one last time. Suddenly people started rushing. “Let’s go! Let’s go!” Moshe Rabeinu said, “It’s time to go now!” People yanked the matzah they were preparing and placed it on their backs, and ran to their Mitzri neighbors. Each came to the door, still bedraggled from the night before, and gave them all the gold and silver they wanted. ‘You Ivri!” Eleizer spun around. Shepsut, the thief, stood next to Eliezer. “This is yours. Now just leave!” He threw the sack of money at Eliezer and ran away at high speed, apparently afraid of another makkah. And of course Eliezer had gotten his missing sock back as well.
Klal Yisrael was leaving! Moshe Rabeinu walked in front, and millions of people walked straight through the gates of Mitzrayim. The dogs who stood sentry by the border just watched, frozen. It was as if the whole world stood still! Hashem had taken the Yidden out of Mitzrayim! Baruch took one last look at the pyramids, the broken statues, the desolate, grasshopper-eaten, barad- beaten, bloodstained country. He looked up to the Heavens. ”Thank you, Tatte!” He whispered. And followed Hashem into the midbar.
Baruch heard a loud BEEP! He looked around, and there he was, buckled in the middle row of his family’s Honda Odyssey. It had all seemed so real! He had never felt so close to Hashem as he had during Choshech or Makkas Bechoros, and leaving Mitzrayim… WOW! That was something else! But it had been a dream. It had to be a dream. He was in his car and they were almost at Geshmakeland! Sighing, Baruch reached into his pocket and pulled out… a sock?
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 76 Pesach.