RECAP: In earlier articles, we learned that bitachon isn’t just something we know, but something our nefesh experiences. We also explored three foundational bitachon “muscles” that help us feel safe with Hashem: trusting that He can handle any situation, that no one can take away what He chooses to give us, and that we don’t need to understand His ways.
But knowing what we believe, and even knowing what we need to work on, doesn’t automatically change how we respond when life gets stressful. Why is that? Because our nefesh can react very quickly to what is happening around us, often before we have had a chance to think things through. Let’s take a simple example.
- You get triggered: You find out that your company has started laying people off.
- Thoughts jump into your head: “I may lose my job.”
- Emotions start flying: Fear, worry, panic.
- Your body reacts: Your heart starts racing. You begin to sweat. Your body tightens.
All of this happens within seconds. You already know that Hashem is in charge and that your livelihood comes from Him. You may even know that Hashem has this covered. But in that moment, your nefesh reacted before you had a chance to focus on these truths.
When we are completely caught up in the experience, it’s hard to break free. Instead, we’ll have to take a step back. If we want to live with real bitachon, we have to first learn to observe our nefesh and how it reacts. There is a difference between noticing that fear is present and being completely caught up in the fear. Instead of simply “being” afraid, we can “notice the emotion of fear inside ourselves.”
This is nothing more than a simple change in thinking. We are not trying to get rid of the fear or tell ourselves that we shouldn’t be feeling it. We are simply becoming aware of what is happening rather than being completely swept up by it. This step is easy to overlook, but it can’t be skipped.
Take It to Go!
Observe Your Nefesh
The next time you notice tension or stress, don’t try to change it right away. Pause, take a breath and notice what is happening inside you. Ask yourself:
- What am I feeling in my body?
- What emotions are here?
- What thoughts are going through my mind?
Now try putting some space between yourself and what you are experiencing. Instead of “I’m overwhelmed,” think, “I notice an emotion of overwhelm inside me.” Instead of “I’m afraid I’m going to lose my job,” think, “I notice fear inside me around the possibility of losing my job.”
You don’t need to fix anything. Once we make this a habit, we can begin to consciously influence our nefesh and give it a different experience.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 105.
