Question:
Every year at this time, I struggle to transition from summer vacation to the month of Elul and the spiritual preparations for the Yomim Noraim. I wonder why Hashem even orchestrated that the summer break comes right before Elul!
Answer:
The main avodah in Elul is to come back to Hashem and to draw close to Him. This is the main component of teshuvah as well, coming close to Hashem. Obviously, you cannot come close to Him when you are full of sins, so we do the work of teshuvah. But even then, getting rid of the aveiros is not the whole avodah. The main thing, and the end goal, is getting close to Hashem!
Vacation time is when a person spends more time engaged in olam hazeh, in more mundane activities, each person on his own level. But the core DNA of every Yid is connection to Hashem, and this connection is the vitality (chiyus) of a Yid. When a Yid engages in more gashmius, this automatically creates some disconnect between him and his neshama. He begins to feel distant from his own pnimiyus, his own spiritual DNA.
This makes the neshama very thirsty! It brings a person to a great hishtokekus, a deep craving for closeness to Hashem. If a person is extremely thirsty and he gets water, he drinks a lot! If a person cannot breathe and he gets oxygen, he takes a deep gulp of air!
After spending more time connecting to gashmius, the neshama is even more “thirsty.” When Elul arrives, the deepest part of ourselves yearns for a gulp of fresh air.
This reality enables us to connect to the avodah of Elul in a deeper way. It allows us to engage in the highest form of teshuvah, one powered by a deep desire to come close to Hashem, rather than by fear of punishment.
We also see this concept with our kids. Even though many children do not like school, after being home for two months, they want to run back to school! So too, our neshamos, after being somewhat disconnected, want to fully reconnect and run back to Hashem!
The yetzer hara, though, will always fill us with skeptical thoughts like, “I know who you are; you don’t really want to do teshuvah,” and the like. He will always remind you of your flaws. But you do not have to buy his garbage! Answer him, “I feel so empty, I really want to come back to my dear Father!” “Being close to Hashem isn’t just a nice thing, it is my whole life!”
This is what the seforim call a yeridah l’tzorech aliyah, when we use the disconnect as a catalyst to bring us closer to Hashem.
Like in every avodah, it is worthwhile to make a kaballah l’maaseh, a practical commitment, that we will be able to maintain. The best kaballah is to start learning sifrei pnimiyus, because these seforim help us build our connection to Hashem in a consistent and lasting way.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 49.
