Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky once visited a school and noticed that the mezuzah on the doorpost was unusually low. Halacha mandates placing a mezuzah in the top third of the frame. The school had placed it much lower, so the children could touch it on their way in and out.
Rav Yaakov told them to move it where it belongs. “Let them use a stool to reach it,” he said. “Otherwise, they will grow up thinking a mezuzah can be put anywhere you wish.”
Now, this school had good intentions. They wanted the kids to connect to a mitzvah. What could be wrong with making it easier?
But Rav Yaakov, with the clarity of a gadol, saw something deeper. When you move the mezuzah down to the child, you’re not helping him grow. You’re teaching him that the world adjusts to wherever he happens to be. And that’s a lesson that will follow him for the rest of his life.
Rather, the school should cash in on the opportunity to show kids how to be resourceful and adjust themselves to the reality around them.
Sometimes we do have to lower the bar. But imagine if we could pause for a moment and consider whether it’s really necessary. Does my 8-year-old really need me to get a spoon, or can he survive the three-foot journey to the drawer? Is the 6-year-old truly incapable of pouring his own water, or did I just decide that after that time he made a mini flood? And math homework, and figuring out the gemara, and making a bracha on his own? We’re tempted to remove the struggle. But if we do that when it isn’t necessary, we’ve brought the bar down for nothing.
We don’t want our kids to feel frustrated. But kids who never have to reach for anything don’t learn how to reach. And if we adjust Yiddishkeit for their convenience, our kids will eventually wonder why it doesn’t feel like it means very much. Let’s not lower the mezuzahs in life. Let’s help them find a stool.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 81.
