I recently realized I live in a bubble. This bubble is fueled by a deep desire to do the Ratzon Hashem — to know Him, to be close to Him, to connect to Him. Not everyone grows up in this bubble; some move in and choose it anew each day. This bubble is not only chosen, but tours of it are given as well. A bubble tour guide, otherwise known as a kiruv professional, works day and night to show people what life can look like when lived striving to do the will of Hashem.
Those who didn’t grow up around Torah and emes and find themselves drawn closer, get to see a life of emunah, savlanus, kavod, chesed, and simcha. They are walked down the streets of a life of connection — with themselves, others, and Hashem. I truly feel that the ‘land’ they are touring is utopia. It is heavenly – a world of people committed to bridging Heaven and Earth. Most of society can only dream that such a place exists, but it does, and it’s wonderful.
How lucky those of us in this bubble are. Although as a society we haven’t yet reached the pinnacle of perfection, Ashreinu ma tov chelkeinu, how fortunate are we to be living among those who are working on it! Does it mean that everyone has arrived? That no one makes mistakes? That people are all perfect around here? Nope — but engaging with Torah and mitzvos is the active work on the roadmap to perfection.
Each one of us is here repairing the world from the fallout of the cosmic choices made in Gan Eden.
The mistake Adam made was a highly calculated, totally reasoned thought: that choosing Hashem when life is dark would create a much more intense relationship than choosing Him when He is ever-present. Is that not the truth? ‘V’emunasecha baleilos’ – there is something to be said for the emunah developed during the ‘nighttime’ experiences of our lives.
So what was wrong with Adam’s reasoning? Despite his sophisticated thought process, he chose to do something that Hashem had expressly told him not to. His ego and humanity got in the way. Adam went with his own reasoning, not Hashem’s reasoning. Yes, we are supposed to have our own thoughts, wants, and desires— but ultimately our job is to “dance the Divine choreography,” as Rabbi Lawrence Kelemen says. To stay connected and committed to the will of our Creator.
These rhythms we develop are our mesorah.
They are the dance of a life lived beautifully.
Does living like this mean nothing will ever hurt, and that life will always be smooth, sunshine and butterflies? Nope. But it does mean that when life happens, there is full awareness that it’s all under control, all for the good, and all from a Father who loves His children. During good times and tough times, the work is to remind ourselves that we’re not the ones calling the shots, but rather that Hashem is orchestrating something beautiful. Choosing emunah means staying connected. Feeling the flow.
Staying on the path. Continuing to walk. That is what the lived experience of a personal geulah can look like. It is simply life lived in a way where each moment of existence is experienced as unfolding exactly according to the Plan, fully attributed to the Planner. On a national level, geulah is described as U’malah haretz deah es Hashem – the world will be full of awareness of Hashem, but we can certainly get to that on a personal level first. Where we can feel intimately connected to His Presence at every turn. For each of us, as individuals, a personal geulah is totally accessible.
When we daven for Mashiach, for the ultimate geulah , it is so that the world will come to an awareness of Hashem and His glory. Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz shlit”a famously said that when we daven for Mashiach, we, Torah Jews, are not really davening for ourselves.
Because in the pre-Mashiach era is where we get to earn our schar, and develop ourselves into who we are meant to become. Once Mashiach arrives, we won’t have to struggle, triumph, and ultimately earn more schar. Everything will be crystal clear and obvious. So why should we want Mashiach if there is still so much more of ourselves to develop and attain reward for?
Ultimately, we want Mashiach because we love Hashem, and we feel the pain for the Shechinah in galus . His glory isn’t manifest as fully as it can and should be. People still live in a world where they contend only with the mask of reality that hides Hashem, and are content with it. There isn’t any awareness or acknowledgement of a Creator and the sacred mission of the Created. Us Jews, as Hashem’s oldest child in the family called humanity, we care deeply about that, and are pained on behalf of Hashem.
While it is clear that geulah on the national level has yet to arrive, individual geulah is within each person’s reach. In the days, moments, and minutes when life is lived in full awareness of His presence and glory, a lived geulah can be experienced. When we get ourselves out of the way and accept and celebrate His will, a lived geulah can be experienced. And when those discoveries are shared with the world — or anyone who will listen — perhaps a geulah revolution can be ignited.
Almost four years ago I sat in the chemo waiting room, preparing for the first of sixteen rounds of chemo — seven months pregnant with my seventh child. From the outside, most people would not call that a geulah experience. In fact, when most people think of geulah, that is exactly what they want abolished at all costs. It isn’t fun. But Hashem held me through the entire journey. He was visible in every event and every detail. There was so much love and care. The connection felt so close. Every time I sat in that chemo chair, I knew with absolute certainty: this is exactly where Hashem wants me. And if this is where You want me, here I am.
Personal geulah is utopic. One day soon, may we all merit to share that amazing experience with the rest of the world and usher in the coming of Mashiach, a time when the whole world can live in harmony with the Divine choreography.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Nashim Tzidkaniyos / Pesach.
