There’s a peculiar Mishnah in Pirkei Avos at the end of Chapter five: “He used to say: At five years of age, the study of Scripture; at ten, the study of Mishnah; at thirteen, the mitzvos; at fifteen, the study of Gemara…” It’s an education plan. And it sounds good, in theory. But clearly, today’s schools do things differently. So what can we do with this Mishnah nowadays?
A man once asked Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l a question that, in its simplicity, cut to the heart of something essential. It was one of those questions that part of you wishes you’d thought of, but another part doubts it’s a good question to begin with.
“Rebbe,” he said, “the Tanna tells us what to teach a child starting at five. But what are we supposed to do with him until then?” Rav Shlomo Zalman looked at him, shocked. “You mean, you don’t know!?” Apparently, it was a good question, and the answer was obvious. And it’s something we need to get into our bones. Rav Shlomo Zalman told him:“You sing to him. Just sing.”
Song. Happiness. Warmth. For five years. Rather than spending our efforts focusing on making sure he keeps his yarmulke on his head. Or that he sits at the table. Or that he’s for sure on his way to becoming a massive lamdan. Focus on singing to him — on filling the house with music and laughter. Teach him that Hashem is “bocher b’shirei zimrah,” the One Who chooses songs of praise, and that all of life is part of that song.
That’s the avodah of a father for the first five years. Set him up for a positive life. Then, when he’s five, and he opens up a chumash, he’ll be ready to soak it up.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 59.
