Chesed is an overwhelming feeling of love, which brings a person to good-heartedness and a deep desire to do good for people. It is often referred to as “loving-kindness. The seforim teach us that chesed is synonymous with water; just like water is always moving downwards, so too the nature of chesed is that it is always flowing outwards.
But every middah needs to be properly balanced with the other middos, and the various middos serve as “checks and balances” for one another. We prepare to receive the Torah during Sefiras Ha’omer by building ourselves in a healthy and balanced way, and this is why we work on not only every middah, but also the way each middah interacts and intersects with one another.
DAY 1 Chesed Sh’b’chesed
Chesed sh’b’chesed is pure love and giving without being harnessed at all.
- Think about how great it is to love Yidden, and imagine what it would be like to be able to give in an unlimited and unrestrained way!
DAY 2 Gevurah Sh’b’chesed
Is there such a thing as too much love and kindness? In order for love and kindness to be effective, they also need to take into account both the giver’s and recipient’s needs and feelings. Gevurah within chesed means to pause and consider whether our giving is harming ourselves, and whether we are giving in the way the recipient needs to receive.
- Am I giving in the way I want to give, or in the way the recipient wants/needs to receive?
- Am I taking care of myself too, or am I giving too much of myself away?
DAY 3 Tiferes Sh’b’chesed
Unbalanced chesed can bring one to love and help, without being empathetic with the one he is helping. This can lead the giver to feel bigger and better than the recipient. Tiferes within chesed means our kindness is wholesome and balanced.
- When I am helping someone, can I still see the recipient as equal with me, or do I feel superior because I am the giver?
- Can I contemplate the real truth: that in Hashem’s eyes, we are all equally His beloved children?
DAY 4 Netzach Sh’b’chesed
If you love someone or something, but your desire doesn’t manifest itself into real-world actions, or you start a chesed project but don’t finish it, then your chesed may be missing the trait of netzach. Netzach within chesed means to have a strong determination to push past any obstacles and get the job done!
- Do I ever feel an overwhelming love for someone, but I don’t express it?
- Do I do chesed only when I’m “in the mood,” and am not consistent about it?
DAY 5 Hod Sh’b’chesed
If the giver makes the recipient feel like a “chesed case,” the very mitzvah that was supposed to lift him up may leave him feeling worse. Hod within chesed is the recognition that when we give, we are simply messengers of Hashem, and this gives us the ability to approach chesed with true humility, and without feeling ‘better than’ the recipient.
- Do I always want people to know that I am the one who helped them, or am I fine sometimes staying anonymous?
- While giving to another, can I fill my mind with the thought that I myself am a constant recipient of Hashem’s kindness, and now I am just acting on His behalf?
DAY 6 Yesod Sh’b’chesed
An important aspect of giving is the connection it builds between people. Yesod within chesed means that my chesed builds a meaningful connection between the recipient and me, and leaves me feeling a genuine love and wanting only good things for him!
- When I give to other people, do I actually feel a sincere joy and connection in their success?
DAY 7 Malchus Sh’b’chesed
Chesed for another person should be done in a way that builds them up, as opposed to leaving them feeling that they are dependent on you, and you are sustaining them. Malchus within chesed means that I care about the dignity of the recipient, and that my goal in giving is not just to support him but to encourage him to believe in himself.
- Do I encourage the recipient of my chesed to believe in himself, or am I afraid of losing my power and authority?
- Is my goal in chesed to help the recipient build himself to become self-sufficient?
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 76 Pesach.