Torah Behind the Tune

GRATITUDE AT THE RIVERBANK

Yaakov Avinu is on his journey home, traveling back after years in the house of Lavan. As he approaches the Yarden, the Jordan River, he pauses. This is not just a rest stop. It’s the exact place he stood once before, when he was alone, vulnerable, and empty-handed. The Torah tells us Yaakov reflects: “With my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps.” This isn’t just a logistical observation; it’s a moment of deep spiritual awareness.

The last time Yaakov was at this river, he had lost everything. Betrayed by his nephew who stripped him of all material possessions, and running from his brother Eisav who wanted him dead, Yaakov crossed the Yarden with nothing but his stick. Now, years later, he returns. But this time, he is surrounded by his wives—Leah, Rochel, Bilhah, and Zilpah—his children, the Shivtei Kah, and great wealth. He sees clearly how far he’s come and the immense chessed Hashem has showered upon him. In that moment, he expresses his profound gratitude: “Katonti mikol hachasadim“—I am humbled by all the kindness You’ve done for me.

Every one of us has a “Yarden moment.” A place, a time, a stage of life where we felt like we were crossing with just a stick. Maybe it was a financial struggle, a difficult medical journey, emotional pain, or spiritual confusion. We stood in that place with nothing but uncertainty and a silent tefillah in our hearts.

Then time passed. Hashem’s unseen hand guided us forward. Maybe we grew, we healed, we built families, found direction, and gained strength. The pain of the past may not have completely vanished, but when we revisit that same “river” we can see with new eyes. We see what Hashem has given us since then. We see His kindness.

And so we stop. We look around. And like Yaakov, we say: Thank You Hashem.

Revisiting our old struggles and noticing how far we’ve come is a powerful way to cultivate gratitude. It transforms our narrative from one of hardship to one of hope and Divine love. It teaches us not just to thank Hashem for where we are, but to recognize the incredible journey He’s carried us through.

So go back—emotionally, mentally, or even physically—to your “Yarden.” Remember what it was like when you only had a stick. And then, look at what you have now. Even if life isn’t perfect now, we can notice and humbly thank Hashem for all the chessed He has done, and how far along He has guided us.

Take a moment. Whisper the words: “Katonti mikol hachasadim.” I am humbled by all the kindness You have done, are doing, and will yet do for me.

Song Name: Katonti

Artist: Moshe Auslander

Lyrics

Right here, back then,

It’s where it all happened.

I see it all in my mind.

All I had was this stick

And the shirt on my back.

It’s been years –

It’s been a long time.

Right here, back then,

It’s where it all happened.

I feel the pain just as bad.

But as I stand here,

All the years later,

I look up and say thank You to Hashem,

קָטֹנְתִּי מִכֹּל הַחֲסָדִים

וּמִכָּל מִכָּל הָאֱמֶת

אֲשֶׁר עָשִׂיתָ עִמִּי עִם עַבְדֶּךָ

אֲשֶׁר עָשִׂיתָ עָשִׂיתָ עִמִּי

כִּי בְמַקְלִי עָבַרְתִּי אֶת הַיַּרְדֵּן הַזֶּה

רַק בְמַקְלִי עָבַרְתִּי אֶת הַיָּם

וְעַתָּה הָיִיתִי לִשְׁנֵי מַחֲנוֹת

וְעַכְשָׁו יֵשׁ לִי שְׁנֵי מַחֲנוֹת