“If only Hashem had given me the brains of Albert Einstein, then gevald — I would’ve been so excited to learn the heiligeh Torah all day long. If Hashem would’ve given me the focus and concentration of the world’s greatest tightrope walker, the one who can walk between skyscrapers without losing focus, then I would for sure become the next masmid hador, maybe even the Vilna Gaon. If Hashem had given me a clear head and a pure heart like the cleanest, most beautiful esrog before Sukkos, then I would be drawn to mitzvos and avodas Hashem with nonstop joy!”
The Midrash tells us that Hashem gave us the heiligeh Torah b’aish — with fire, b’mayim — with water, u’bamidbar — and in the desert. The seforim hakedoshim explain this in many ways. The Sfas Emes says these are different life states a person can be in, each one representing unique challenges in learning Torah properly.
There is a Yid who is in aish mode. He might be a warm, fiery person, full of passion and energy, but that energy makes it very hard for him to sit calmly and work through a sugya with a clear head. It can also represent someone who is going through a time of fire, a time of gevurah, a life challenge that makes it very hard for him to connect to learning.
Then there’s mayim mode. As the Baal HaTanya explains, water represents coldness. The brain, which is compared to water, cools the passion of the heart. Here we’re talking about someone who feels completely disconnected. He’s not interested, not searching. He’s in a cold mode of “It’s all good. Just leave me alone, I don’t see what the excitement is about.”
And then there’s midbar mode. A desert is hefker, empty, barren. Nothing grows there. No one takes care of it. A Yid in this place feels lost, with no hope. He feels like he has no chance in Torah and avodas Hashem. He sees it as being for other people, but never something that is truly for him.
And despite this all, Hashem, our loving Tatty, gave us the Torah through aish, mayim, and midbar. No matter what a Yid might be going through, Torah and avodas Hashem are perfect for you right where you are. By connecting to it from where you are, you will find the Torah itself is there to help you, and can help you get through the challenges that make it hard for you to connect to the Torah in the first place.
The nature of aish is tzimayon, a thirst and desire to rise higher. Through Torah and avodas Hashem, a person can be mamtik the dinim and gevuros of the fire and turn it into light — from me’orei aish to me’orei ohr. Ki ner mitzvah v’Torah ohr.
Chazal tell us that Torah is compared to water. Water flows from the highest place down to the lowest place. When you feel distant, low, and cold, the Torah makes its way down to you, to illuminate you from where you are, and draw you back with the light of the Torah.
In Parshas Acharei, the Torah says that mitzvos were given v’chai bahem, to live through them. The tzadikim explain that this means that through Torah we get life! So if a person feels like he’s in a midbar, empty and lifeless, he should not wait until he is in a better place to connect to Torah, because it is the Torah itself that will infuse him with life!
So the Midrash is teaching us something powerful. Wherever you find yourself, in any situation and any state of being, you are the perfect candidate for Kabbalas HaTorah.
The Bnei Yissaschar brings this out beautifully. The Gemara brings a machlokes whether the Torah was given on the 6th or the 7th day of Sivan. The Bnei Yissaschar asks, how can it be that the exact date of when the Torah was given is not clear? This is the greatest day in history, the very purpose of creation, and we aren’t sure what day it is? In the Torah itself, the date does not seem to be an important detail, with Shavuos just being mentioned as “after we count the days of the Omer,” or as “the day of bikkurim.”
One thing we can learn from this is that there is no specific “perfect day” for learning Torah. Torah transcends time and circumstances, and there is no ideal circumstance we need to be in in order to throw ourselves into learning and avodas Hashem.
Ki heim chayeinu… u’vahem nehgeh yomam valailah — Torah is our life, day and night. It’s always the right time, and you are exactly the right person.
A freilichen Yom Tov!
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 82 – Shavuos.
