זממה שדה ותיקחהו מפרי כפיה נטע כרם
“She envisions a field and buys it. From the fruit of her handiwork, she plants a vineyard.”
זו היא יוכבד שיצא ממנה משה, שהוא שקול כנגד כל ישראל שנקראו כרם, שנאמר כי כרם ה’ צבאות בית ישראל
The Midrash says, This is Yocheved, from whom Moshe came, who is considered equal to the entirety of the Jewish people, who are collectively called a “vineyard.”
When the Torah sources say “zachta veyatza mimena – she merited and he was borne from her,” it does not mean that she got lucky and this great child was born from her, but rather that the greatness of that particular woman – her sterling character and the results of what she built in her life – resulted in the greatness that was born from her.
What can we learn from Yocheved to build our own greatness?
Yocheved’s Legacy
Buying fields, planting vineyards… What’s this teaching us?
If a person wants to work on their faith, they should study agriculture: planting a field necessitates real emunah. One takes a healthy seed, buries it deep in the dark, under the ground, and watches it decay. It looks like things are going in the opposite direction of growth. One has to trust Hashem, see that this is part of a process and know that disintegration is only stage one of growth, after which the seed will sprout.
Farmers build and balance two opposing forces: the ultimate fusion of maximum effort and maximum letting go. They plow and sow, plant and reap, with everything they have, but they are forced to recognize that the results are purely in G-d’s hands: if it doesn’t rain, if it does not rain enough, if it rains too much, if there’s frost or infestation, how much will the crop yield, what will its quality be…many factors that affect the crops are beyond human control. A vineyard yields its finest product, wine, only through a long process of fermentation. Wine represents the depth of Torah and wisdom. This process teaches us to put in the necessary effort while letting go of the need for control, trusting that the ultimate results rest in G-d’s hands.
Yocheved embodied this message. She teaches us to trust that there is a process, and how to see it through from exile to redemption. This is why Moshe was her son. Moshe was the redeemer who could stand in the impossible darkness and declare that G-d is in control right here, right now. There is a purpose, reason and meaning to the darkness – Hashem is running the show and will bring us to geulah. It was Yocheved who so deeply lived this. She understood that galus builds geulah. She gives birth to a Moshe Rabbeinu.
The Art of Midwifery: Control vs. Surrender
Yocheved was a midwife in Egypt, and this was no coincidence. Midwifery requires an understanding of the birth process.
I’m not a midwife, but sometimes I support women in the birth process. A woman will call me at the beginning of labor and say, “Contractions are regular, but I’m managing them. I’m having one now. Should we go to the hospital? Do you think it’ll be very soon?” I usually say in response, “You’re nowhere near ready to give birth. If you can be totally in control and be speaking to me with an even tone of voice through a contraction, that’s not intensive labor yet. It’s definitely doing something, but no, birth is not imminent.”
In the labor process, there is a medical point called “transition.” This is a medically recognized point in the process where a psychological shift takes place. At this point, a woman often says something like, “I’m done. I want to go home. I can’t do this.” Paradoxically, that moment of deep surrender is exactly when the child is about to be born. Birth happens when we hand over the reins fully to Hashem.
As finite, physical, limited human beings, we cannot bring a neshamah, a spark of eternity, into the world. Impossible. Hashem holds the key of birth, which means that He, and only He, ‘does birth’. G-d says, “I cannot enter while you are taking up all the space.” As soon as the “I” – the ego and the need for control – steps out of the picture, we become a powerful vessel, a channel through which a new life enters the world. We surrender and connect to Hashem, yet we don’t leave the room. We are more active and present than ever before. The ego leaves. Even after we hold the miracle child after birth, we feel extremely humbled. We don’t have a sense of ‘I built this’, but rather that it absolutely happened despite us. This is true of anything significant we’ve ever “birthed” in our lives.
The Tikkun of Chava
When trying to understand the purpose of pain in childbirth, my question was why the pain was necessary. Bringing a child into the world is an incredible, holy thing. Why does it have to happen through pain? The conventional answer: it’s because of Chava (Eve)’s sin – but why should I suffer for her sin?
The Kabbalistic sources explain that all punishment in Torah is a Tikkun (rectification). Every woman today is a piece, a spark, a shard of that original macro soul. Our job in the whole of subsequent human history is rectification. A painful but necessary reconstruction process. We are not suffering for her. We are Chava.
What was the essence of this mistake? The mistake in Gan Eden was rooted in the assertion of human logic, ego and control. Chava made her own calculations, believing she knew better than the Divine command. (For a proper explanation of this fundamental issue, see Paradox of the Ego, Worldmask, Rabbi Tatz).
The essence of all human struggles today is the same: the ego. Rabbi Miller zt’’l (from Gateshead) taught us that the purpose of bechira (free choice) is to hand it back to Him. To choose with your free choice to do what Hashem wants from you, not what you want! To say, Hashem, it’s not about me, it’s all You. The hardest thing for a human being to say is ‘My desire is to completely align myself with Hashem’s desire,’ because we sense our independent existence so strongly.
Birth forces us to rectify this. You can have the perfect birth plan, but G-d might (probably will!) pull the carpet out from under you. When we hand our plan back to Him and say, “I surrender,” we become a channel for the highest spiritual power to enter the world – a life. This doesn’t mean you become inactive or go to sleep. Ironically, you become super active, intensely active. But your ego, your logic, your control is what leaves the room. You do with every fiber of your being what He wants you to, not what you want you to! That is when the most powerful births – of children, of ideas, or of achievements – occur.
Heroic Jewish women have mastered this. I heard Rabbi Tauber zt’’l say that his mother gave birth four times during the Holocaust. She later had five more children after the war. Even in those crazy circumstances. Today, they are all grandparents.
People asked her: How did you do that? Under those circumstances that seemed hopeless? She said: “We are Jews, we believe in the eternity of the soul, we believe in resurrection. We don’t lose children. Even miscarriages are real children who will certainly live again in the time of Moshiach.” This is what great women feel. I don’t do my plan, I do Hashem’s plan.
Seeing the Dawn in the Dark
Yocheved, in Mitzrayim, in the darkest of that night, recognized that it’s a mitzvah to have children. It’s doing a tremendous thing in the building of the world. She persisted in helping women give birth as a midwife, in a world that seemed to have no future. With each birth, she brought geulah from galus.
In Judaism, the night always precedes the day. The day begins at sundown because light is born out of the darkness. Yocheved saw the dawn while it was still night, and because she could hold that vision, she merited a son like Moshe.
The Wine
The Jewish people are compared to a kerem (a vineyard). Wine is the internality of the grape. Yet, when you cut open the grape, you won’t find wine! There is a process…Grapes only produce their finest product – wine – when they are squeezed and put under pressure. Then comes the fermentation process. Wine represents the “Torah of the hidden,” the deepest of all wisdom. Just as the grape must be crushed to release the wine, it is often through the ‘crushing’ of exile and pressure that the beauty of redemption is finally released. “Mipri kape’ha nat’ah kerem – from the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.” The Woman of Valor plants and throws herself fully and completely into achieving what He says, rather than what she thinks. She gives her all to everything she does, but humbly acknowledges the Source of her strength, wisdom and capability.
“She’maamin b’Chei haolamim vezorea – [a farmer] puts his faith in the Almighty and plants.” With the tenacity of her faith in Chei Olamim, she immerses herself correctly in the process, at the same time as letting go completely, trusting Him with the outcome.
Maximum effort, at the same time as maximum surrender. This is the legacy of Yocheved, and the blueprint for bringing redemption into our own lives.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Nashim Tzidkaniyos / Pesach.
