Q
I strongly dislike saying Shnayim Mikra. I don’t even understand the Aramaic of Targum, and pushing myself to say it is frustrating to me.
A. Saying Shnayim Mikra is an avodah of Kabbalos Ohl. This means that its purpose is not to bring us a warm spiritual feeling of connection to Hashem, but rather it is an exercise in our commitment to doing the will of Hashem, even if we do not enjoy or find inspiration in it. It is an important part of building the vessels (keilim) we need in order to receive the light of Shabbos.
This is one of the ways we show Hashem that we trust in Him that what He asks us to do is in our best interest and will benefit us greatly, whether we feel it or not. As is the case in other mitzvos as well, the benefit is fully experienced in our neshama even if we are not conscious of it.
There are two ways workers are generally paid by their employer: cash or direct deposit into their bank account. It feels great to be given a wad of cash, and an employee who is paid in cash will enjoy the feeling of having the tangible bills in his hand. But is an employee paid by direct deposit lacking payment? Of course not, the money went straight into his bank account!
This is how it works with avodas Hashem as well. An amazing feeling of ohr when we do a mitzvah is a wonderful thing, and it may feel like “cash in hand”, but if we do not feel the ohr, it does not mean we didn’t receive it — it just means it went as a direct deposit directly into our neshama bank account!
Q
How do I keep my kids engaged by the Shabbos meals?
A. Every child should contribute to the Shabbos seudah, in accordance with their age and ability. (The B’yam Darkecha jokingly said that in his house, the rule is that every child needs to “pay” for the seudah by sharing some kind of dvar Torah.) For young school children, they can accomplish this by sharing what they brought home from school, such as parsha questions, and older children should be encouraged to share a dvar Torah.
Every child should be taught and empowered to share their own insights in Torah. If your child feels he does not know how to come up with something, or if he doesn’t have the confidence that he can, there is a way that you can show them that they, too, can do this. (Not that you should teach them this in public, by the Shabbos meal, but in general, this is how you can build a child’s confidence in his ability to learn.)
The method is very simple: have your son open a Chumash and start reading and translating the parsha, and encourage him to share any and every question that comes to his mind. The Torah is written in a way that invites many questions, and he will surely have questions. Encourage the questions and ask him if he can think of an answer to it. The point is that many questions, insights, and answers he may think of are likely to be excellent, and even ideas mentioned in the mefarshim. Encourage him and guide him, and over time, he will discover that he can do it!
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 71.