Question:
I find it very hard to have kavanah by davening since it is so repetitive to say the same davening and the same Shemoneh Esrei three times every single day. What can I do to help me connect more?
Answer:
The real question is, why did Chazal make the davening that way? Why didn’t they at least make a different davening for each day of the week?
The answer is, that this is exactly what Hashem wanted. Hashem wants us to realize that the main point of davening is not the words — it’s the connection of our heart: avodah shebalev.
To clarify this point, we can compare it to a kumzitz. When singing at a kumzitz, the songs that really “rock the ship” and have everyone involved with all their hearts are the old songs that everyone knows well. That’s because one is not busy with the technicalities of the song, and his heart can fill up with the regesh, the feeling behind the song.
It’s the same thing with davening. Hashem wants us to mainly focus on the nekudah penimis of the davening — our connection to Hashem — and not be busy with the nitty-gritty of the words. This is why the words are always the same, familiar words. One should not get “stuck” on the words and instead should be able to have chidushim in his avodas halev, without getting distracted.
The main part of davening is the feeling that one is omed lifnei Hamelech — I am standing right now in front of the King of the universe, my beloved Father. I want to connect to Him. I am nullifying myself in front of Him. I am with Him. (Tefilah means connection — naftulei Elokim.)
One should practice this every day when they say “Hashem, sefasai tiftach” — pause right there and gather your thoughts to meditate for a few moments on this idea. This is also why we are supposed to close our eyes during davening — to consume ourselves in the amazing feeling of it being just me and Hashem.
I once heard a mashal from Rav Shimshon Pincus. Before a king or president would visit a city, he would send a special delegation ahead to make sure the city prepared a proper welcome. In one city, they got the city hall ready, bought new furniture and hung up beautiful curtains. They were sure the committee would be pleased. But the delegation told them they had to change the curtains. They asked, “Why? Aren’t these curtains beautiful?” “They are beautiful” they replied, “but they are very colorful, and they may distract the people from the king. When the king comes, the curtains need to be one color so the people are totally focused on His Majesty.”
I tell people an eitzah tova — daven quickly. Not to swallow the words, but to say them with chiyus and a rhythm. This keeps one in check with the King, without getting distracted by the words. Of course, if one feels an ohr in certain words, he should take his time. But b’chlal it’s a good idea to daven quicker. This also helps so that one doesn’t lose his concentration.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 43.
