We’ve all probably heard the observation that Hashem’s name does not appear in Megillas Esther.
Pardon me, but that’s not exactly true.
His name is there, just in hidden form. In five places throughout the Megillah, Hashem’s name appears as an acrostic. Sometimes it’s in the first letters of four consecutive words, sometimes in the last letters, and in various orders.
And that’s a mystery. What does Hashem want already? If He wants us to notice Him, He should sign His name in all caps on this story. If He wants to stay hidden, He shouldn’t give us any hints. What gives?
The answer: He always does this. His name is always there, and always absent. He is never clearly revealed to us, but always able to be found. If we try, that is.
A Jew living during the Purim story could have seen nothing special. Just the results of politics, palace intrigue, and lucky breaks. Or he could have paid attention and taken notes, and noticed Hashem’s hand behind every detail. And this is our test, always.
We can be stuck in traffic and blame the car in front of us, or the government, or global warming (somehow). Or we can say, “Those are just shluchim, agents. Hashem signed His name all over this traffic jam. Why is He keeping me here right now?”
We can get to shul feeling disconnected. We can blame it on our kids, or our boss, rush through davening, and go home. Or we can stop and say, “You want me here right now, just the way I am. Now what?” His name is nowhere. And it’s everywhere.
Haman is invited to a special party with just him, Esther, and the king, and he’s ecstatic. What a chashuveh mentsch! But then he sees Mordechai, who still refuses to bow, and says (5:13): “וכל זה איננו שוה לי”—none of this is worth it for me.” My wealth, power, children, and status, it all means nothing as long as this Jew doesn’t get with the program.
Those words contain Hashem’s name in the last letters, in reverse order. We can suggest (based on Rabbeinu Bachaya) that Haman’s basic approach to the world was: I’m in charge. I am the was, is, and will be of this world (ch’v). If something isn’t going my way, it had better fall in line. And until it does, nothing matters.
Haman saw the name of Hashem, but thought it was his own name. And when someone does that, the name comes out distorted and backwards.
If we take the time to look and find Hashem’s name in the world, we’ll grow. We’ll become big Yidden with the power to see hashgacha in everything that happens.
But if not, we’ll start signing our own names all over the place. We’ll decide what’s “supposed” to be, and get upset when something else happens. And everything we have will mean nothing at all.
This Purim, let’s not just read the Megillah like detectives. Let’s read the whole world that way, too. The signature is waiting to be found.
Hashem is never clearly revealed to us, but He is always able to be found.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 72 Purim.
