We all want to have true ahavas Yisroel. But how do we get to a place of loving every Jew? How can you love someone you don’t even know? And once you get to know another Jew, you start to see his or her imperfections, which makes it even harder to love them! What if your fellow Jew drives you crazy, or worse, causes you pain? Since Hashem gave us a mitzvah in the Torah of “v’ahavta l’reacha kamocha”, the goal of loving every Jew must be achievable. The Torah was not given to the Heavenly angels, but rather to us human beings with all our imperfections. There is a way to get there! It is an achievable goal to get ourselves to a place where our hearts will fill with joy when we see another Yid, no matter who it is, because of the great love we have for every Yid.
The first step is to go straight for the neshamah! The moment you see another Yid, put on your pnimius glasses. Look past the externals, and focus on the inner essence of that person. What is the inner essence of every Yid? His or her neshamah, which is a cheilek Elokai Memal mamash – an actual piece of Hashem. Connect with the G-dliness of the Jewish soul, and see that this Yid is a part of the holy Shechina, a vessel through which Hashem reveals His light and presence. Loving this Yid just got a whole lot easier!
The challenge of loving every Yid is when we look at the externals. But the mitzvah of ahavas Yisroel is not to love the opinions, words, or actions of every Jew. The goal is to love the essence of every Jew. A Jew is not defined by the actions or opinions of his guf, but rather by the core identity of his neshamah. The challenge is that these external behaviors jump out and prevent us from penetrating the pnimius and seeing the neshamah. The solution is to reverse the order, to work on identifying the neshamah immediately upon seeing another Yid. Once you connect to, and love, the neshamah, it is far easier to retain that ahavas Yisroel regardless of what that Jew believes or does. Deep love conceals imperfections – when you really love someone, you don’t get very bothered by their little mistakes.
If every time we saw a Yid we saw only the radiating light of their neshamah, and we truly felt that we were in the presence of G-dliness, a cheilek Elokai Memal mamash, we would not find it difficult to love the Yid! The hard work of developing ahavas Yisroel hinges therefore on one specific point – when I see my fellow Jew, do I see body or do I see soul? How can I bring myself to a place where my immediate perception is to see the neshamah? Where do I get a pair of those pnimius glasses?
The first step is to yearn for ahavas Yisroel. In avodas Hashem, yearning is not a passive, subconscious feeling – it is a powerful tool to use to grow and improve. It is an action, an activity, something we can sit down and do. Challenge yourself to spend a full minute just yearning to have true ahavas Yisroel. Dream about how awesome it would be if your heart filled with love and joy every time you saw another Yid! Envision it, crave it, thirst for it! Imagine if you had the ahavas Yisroel of the great tzaddikim!
Another important step is to daven to Hashem. Just like with every area of life, nothing can happen without the help of Hashem. Ask Hashem to help you see only the neshamah of your fellow Yid, and not to get ‘stuck’ in the person’s external behaviors. It’s also a good idea to make time to learn a sefer or read a book on the topic, and to you surround yourself with Torah teachers who can bring this message to life for you. These little things can help you build your ahavas Yisroel, and help keep you in ahavas Yisroel growth mode.
Finally, a particularly powerful exercise you can do is to dedicate some time to think about a fellow Jew that you have differences with, and contemplate the fact that their essence is a holy piece of Hashem.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 9.
