For some, the avodah of vidui can lead them to think deeply about the aveiros they’ve done, and lead them to terrible sadness. The Chidushei HaRim, in a pre-Yom Kippur shmooze, shared the following chizuk with his talmidim:
If one, G-d forbid, fell in a coarse aveirah, and he spends time focusing on the things he did wrong, he will find himself thinking about those aveiros, and the rule is that “you are where your thoughts are.” Consequently, his entire nefesh will be immersed in these unclean areas, this thinking will contaminate his mind, and certainly it will not lead to proper teshuva, but rather it will just lead to sadness, G-d forbid.
Even if the aveiros he did were not so “shmutzy,” and thinking about them will not lead to contaminating his mind, it is still nevertheless not worthwhile to have too much focus on the sur me’rah (i.e., the evil deeds one has done), because “you can dig and push mud this way or that way, at the end of the day you are still in the mud.” What does Heaven gain from you rolling around in the mud!? In the time you spent pushing around the mud in your mind, you could have been gathering jewels, which would have truly accomplished something in Heaven!
This is why it says (Tehillim 34:15) “sur merah” — stay away from focusing on the bad things you did, and instead “asei tov,” spend the time doing good things. This is what Chazal teach us, (Vayikra Rabbah 21:5) אם עשית חבילות של עבירות – עשה כנגדן חבילות של מצות, if you did bundles of aveiros, respond to them by doing bundles of mitzvos.
We should leave behind our aveiros from a place of yishuv hadaas and from the depth of our hearts. From that place, we should accept upon ourselves good commitments for the future and to do so with simcha, as the passuk in Tehillim says “ivdu es Hashem b’simcha, serve Hashem with happiness.” Rather than immersing yourself in the shmutz of aveirah by focusing on the aveiros in great detail, it is better to say the vidui quickly and then spend time focusing in great detail on the next part, ותמלוך אתה ד’ לבדך, and You, Hashem, shall reign alone!
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 99.