It’s one of those mornings when nothing goes right. I wake up exhausted, I don’t daven the way I intended, and a friend or coworker makes a hurtful comment that completely throws off my day. As a result, I become short-tempered, irritable, and stressed. Or maybe this whole story happened in just two minutes; I’m having a great day, someone makes a nasty comment, and my instinctive reaction is not what I wished it would have been.
The next day, I reflect with disappointment. I haven’t done any “aveiros,” and am not required to do teshuvah, but why did I miss that opportunity to come closer to Hashem? Come on! I know about Hashem! I have emunah! Ein Od Milvado! Why couldn’t I have taken a moment to pause and bring Hashem into the picture? But now it’s too late. Hopefully next time my Emunah is tested I’ll do better.
But it is not too late. The Tzadikim teach us a powerful concept—retroactive spark elevation. We can still elevate that moment. And it’s so simple. All we need to do is turn to Hashem and speak openly:
“Hashem, I am disappointed with myself that I didn’t see You in that moment, and I reacted with instinct instead of with soul. But Hashem, I see now that You were there then.” Hashem, this is me “retaking that test” and passing on my second try. Please allow me to pass the next test on my first try.
We can do this anytime we reflect on a missed opportunity, but the most powerful way to incorporate this practice into our lives is to set aside a dedicated time for reflection and correction. The best time? Right before Shabbos.
Shabbos is an island of emunah. It is the time that Hashem gives us a neshamah yesairah, which opens our eyes to see Hashem’s presence in places we didn’t notice during the week. The Avodas Yisroel writes: “Just as we clean our homes in preparation for Shabbos, we should also clean and prepare our thoughts, minds, and hearts to be a respectable dwelling place for the Divine Presence that rests upon us on Shabbos Kodesh.”
What better way to welcome the Shabbos Queen than by spiritually ‘cleaning up’ in her honor, by retroactively elevating moments when our emunah fell short, during the past week!
The Beyam Darkecha writes that this should be part of our intention during the tefillah of “Hodu” (Tehillim 107), which the Baal Shem Tov established the custom to recite just before Mincha on Erev Shabbos. This is a time to spiritually ‘clean up’ the week in honor of Shabbos Kodesh.
During Hodu, take a moment to reflect on your week: Think of every good moment you may have forgotten to attribute to Hashem and thank Him for, and express gratitude as we repeatedly say “Yodu l’Hashem chasdi, v’niflaosav livnei adom.” Recall the challenges you faced but failed to recognize as coming from Hashem, and now, retroactively, call out to Him with the repeated mention of “Vayitzaku el Hashem b’tzar lahem.”
If you can’t do it at Hodu, do it after lighting candles or after Maariv. Neshamah-cleaning is permitted on Shabbos! This special form of “Emunah Teshuvah” requires you to ask yourself two simple questions: 1) What good things happened to me this week that I forgot to credit to Hashem? 2) What challenges did I experience that I failed to recognize as being from Hashem? Go through each moment in your mind, one at a time, and speak openly to Hashem: “Hashem, I didn’t see You at that moment, but I see now that You were there then. Please help me recognize You right away the next time something like this happens.“
Start small. In a 30-second reflection, you can identify 1 or 2 incidents in your week that will jump out as moments that could use a cleaning. As you get used to this avodah, and start to feel the incredible spiritual high of coming into Shabbos with a cleansed soul, you’ll want to upgrade to a detailed deep-clean, with a more thorough reflection of every part of your week.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 28.