The sophisticated and complex wording of the piyutim of Selichos can be hard to understand and connect with. Why did Chazal create such long and poetic tefillos? Why are Selichos full of shiros v’sishbachos, (praises of Hashem)? We describe His attributes of mercy and compassion at length, and bring down many verses from the Torah to “prove it.” Wouldn’t it make more sense for the Selichos to be shorter, clearer, and more to the point? Maybe Selichos should be as follows: Father in Heaven, I have sinned before You, and did this-and-this aveirah. Hashem, I regret this sin and commit to avoid doing it in the future. Please forgive me. It seems like we dance around the core issue and mention everything besides a clear and formal teshuvah!
At the heart of this question is: what is the best way to awaken Heavenly mercy?
Let’s take an extreme example. Suppose a rebellious son gets into a fight with his father, and in a fit of rage he sets his father’s house on fire. You can imagine the tremendous anguish the father will have at this loss, and how angry he’d be at his son. The son could apologize all day long, but this is going to be a difficult incident to recover from. Just bringing up the action he did, by saying “I’m sorry, father, for burning your house down,” might even trigger more anger rather than mercy and compassion.
A better idea would be for the son to start a conversation with his father, with the goal of awakening his compassion. Abba, you remember when someone once caused you a great loss, but you decided to overlook it and show him mercy? What incredible self-control that took! Remember when someone embarrassed you, but with strength and self discipline you chose to stay elevated, and not to reach down to that person’s level and embarrass his back? Abba, you remember that time that I burned down your house? Please, dear father, forgive me for doing that!
This strategy probably wouldn’t work if you burned your friend’s house down, but when it comes to a father and son relationship, this has the ability to awaken the deep feelings of love that a father has for his children. No matter how far the son has strayed, or how much the son provoked the father, deep down there is an everlasting love that can be awakened in the father. A powerful way to do that is to remind the father of his great qualities, and the times that he showed his compassion and mercy.
Slichos pave the way for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. When we say Selichos, we are ‘preparing the space’ from which we will do teshuvah. Our sins create barriers between us and Hashem, and praising Hashem and saying these piyutim and pesukim (verses from the Torah) is the way that we shatter these barriers and awaken Hashem’s mercy. We don’t need to create Hashem’s mercy, and we don’t need to create Hashem’s love for us – those are already both there. We simply want to bring them to the forefront. We don’t start the High Holiday season by declaring every sin we’ve ever done. We approach teshuvah like the son in the example above, and carefully bring up the topic to awaken the love and compassion of our Father in Heaven.
But this is only half of the story. The other reason we must start our teshuvah by praising Hashem is to remind ourselves how loving, merciful, and forgiving our Father is! When we fall and do an aveirah, we create klipos, evil entities that try to keep us down. They put nonsense into our mind, trying to convince us that since we sinned, Hashem doesn’t want us anymore, G-d forbid, and that we have lost the privilege to enter the King’s palace to serve Him. Any dream we have of doing teshuvah gets shut down and held back by these thoughts. This is another reason why it is so important to start our teshuvah with shiros v’sishbachos (praises to Hashem). We remind ourselves how much Hashem loves us, and how great his compassion is for his children.
While describing Hashem’s attributes of mercy during Selichos, don’t forget what you are really saying! Hashem, even though I have messed up and fallen, I know that You want me to get back up again. You are compassionate and forgiving, and Your right hand is stretched out to accept my return to You with love! Despite the nonsense the klipos put in my head, I know that You want me back and that I am worthy of Your love and kindness. And so, here I am.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 8.