Wisdom:
R’ Mendel Futerfas, a master educator and storyteller, shared the following story that took place when he was a young man growing up in the former Soviet Union. As a teenage yeshiva student, R’ Mendel learned in the famed Tomchei Temimim yeshiva. One day he encountered Reb Chaim, one of the respected elders of the community. Seeing that R’ Chaim looked uncharacteristically despondent, Mendel inquired as to his well-being and asked what was wrong. The sage gazed down at the young man and responded:
“I’m getting older. It won’t be long before I go before the Heavenly court, where I will have to give an accounting of my every moment.”
Mendel was taken aback. R’ Chaim was a respected role model whose every move was calculated and deliberate. He was well known as a serious and saintly person. What did he have to be afraid of? R’ Chaim saw the confusion on Mendel’s face and continued to explain.
“Each morning I wake up fresh to serve Hashem. I say Modeh Ani. When I’m finished, I take that Modeh Ani and put it in a large sack that I carry around with me. Then I wash my hands (negel vasser), and I put that into the sack as well. I go to the mikvah, and I put that into the sack. Afterwards I study Chasidus for an hour, and I put that learning in my sack as well. Then I put on my tallis and teffilin, and proceed with my day. I wash my hands for pas shachris as prescribed by Halachah. I make “hamotzi,” I eat some bread, after which I bentch. All of that goes into the sack that I carry. I come to the yeshiva. I learned Torah all morning and spend the afternoon lunch break learning with students and strengthening them and their avodas Hashem. This all goes into my sack as well. In the evening, I tend to the needs of my family, learn some more Torah, daven Maariv, say Shema, and go to bed. Every mitzvah gets put in the sack, which is overflowing by the end of each day. According to my calculations, since my Bar Mitzvah, I’ve amassed over 27,000 sacks and filled each one of them to the brim.
Mendel listened intently, and with every sentence he became more confused than before. This was the description of a life completely dedicated to Yiddishkeit! How did this explain why R’ Chaim was feeling down and despondent?
Finally, R’ Chaim leaned in, and with tears in his eyes, he said. “Young man, listen carefully and I’ll tell you the reason for my concern. All these years, day after day, night after night, why did I have to put all of my Torah, learning my davening, mitzvos, and maasim tovim – all that I’ve done – all into that sack? Why didn’t I put them into my heart?”
Vehayu Hadevarim ha’eila ahser anichi metzavcha hayom, al levavecha! Let these words which I have commanded you, be upon your hearts.
Integration Tool
Find a moment or two throughout the day to follow an action of a mitzvah, such as learning Torah or davening, and then summarize, manifest, and express that moment as prayer. Use your own words. Create your own script. Turn to Hashem with a simple and sincere prayerful request: “Master of the world, please help me internalize the mitzvos that I do, and allow them to penetrate so that I feel their impact and sense Your presence in my heart.”
In this way, together, we can begin to elevate the “Devarim ha’eileh,” the special moments and mitzvos, into embodied and vibrant points of contact.
Not just in the bag, but in our hearts.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 35 Lag Ba’omer Edition.
