Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky once took a ball out of his pocket in a doctor’s office and started playing with a young boy. When asked if it was not beneath his dignity, he replied, “He may never see another old Jew with a white beard. I want his association to be a good one.”
The forethought of Rav Yaakov was incredible. But let’s point out something else here: Clearly, Rav Yaakov also knew the lost art of giving undivided attention. He wasn’t half-watching the kid while speaking to someone else in the waiting room. He wasn’t glancing at the clock. He was fully present, playing ball with a child.
Our kids don’t just need us in the room. They need us present. And when we’re scrolling through emails during dinner, or “just quickly” checking something while they’re telling us about their day, we’re teaching them something. We’re teaching them that the device in our pocket matters more than, well, pretty much everything else.
Here’s an easy one we can all try: Ten minutes a day, completely disconnected. Phone on airplane mode, computer stays closed, no exceptions. And tell the kids about it. “Right now, for the next ten minutes, you have me 100%.”
It does two things. One, it shows them they’re worth our full attention. Two, believe it or not, it’s good for us. Our brains need the break. Our stress levels need it. There are nonstop benefits to turning away some of those pings.
Ten minutes. That’s all it takes. Ten minutes to show our kids what really matters. Ten minutes to be like Rav Yaakov in that waiting room. They’ll remember it forever.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Nekuda Tova Listing.
