When Rav Dovid Feinstein zt’l passed away, the Lower East Side lost one of its greatest giants. Thousands came to be menachem avel. Among them was Rav Dov Tropper, a lifelong talmid of Rav Dovid. After paying his respects, he stood to leave. But Rav Mordy Feinstein — Rav Dovid’s youngest son — asked him to wait. Then Rav Mordy did something remarkable. He recited “haMakom yenachem” to Rav Dov. At his own father’s shiva — in his own deepest grief — he comforted the visitor.
To me, that’s more than good middos. That’s power. We give our children real power to go above and beyond. And it doesn’t happen by mistake. That type of power comes from parenting. Rav Dovid — with the wisdom of a gadol baTorah — gave his children the strength to live by their values, 100% of the time. And we can do the same, on our level.
When we teach our kids to apologize, we’re giving them the power to repair what’s broken. When we model resilience after a setback, we’re giving them the power to get back up. When we demonstrate caring about others — not just talking about it, but doing it — we’re giving them the power to look beyond themselves.
And when we do this consistently, over years, these powers become part of who we are. Rav Mordy could comfort a mourner at his own father’s shiva because Rav Dovid had spent decades building that power in him.
What we invest in our children—through our example, through our patience, through our consistency—becomes their power. The power to be good even when it’s hard. The power to give even when they’re empty. Rav Mordy Feinstein’s story didn’t start at the shiva. It started decades earlier, in a home where a father showed his children what real strength looks like.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 61.
