Nobody I know has sinas chinam. Baseless hatred? No way. That’s so the Hebrew year 3828. If I have a problem with someone, it’s definitely based on something. And that “thing” feels very legitimate. Sometimes, it even feels holy. ‘I only have a problem with that type of Jew because they’re doing XYZ wrong,’ or ‘We all know she knows better, and she still chooses to act, dress, speak that way. It’s so not OK.’’
I am going to assume that if, theoretically, there is anyone who feels judgment or criticism toward another Jew, they go to sleep at night feeling completely legitimate and justified in those feelings. Baseless dislike? No one I know. There’s always something to base it on. Is there though?
Let’s really break down what we know as truth. Yisrael, v’Oraysa, v’Kudsha Brich Hu, chad hu — the Jewish People, the Torah, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu are one. We know Hashem is the Ein Sof, the Infinite One, and that we have no ability to even begin to understand Him. We know the Torah is netzach, straight from Hashem, and we know we can never fully plumb the depths of it. Now, do we even know how little we know about the infinity of another Yid?
A Yid’s neshama is a part of nishmas Yisroel, which comes from the highest, highest part of Hashem’s ratzon, a place that is mysterious, inaccessible, and unknowable. All we know is that in that space of Hashem’s Will, the very thought of nishmas Yisrael brought Him so much delight that He created all of creation in order to have a relationship with us. Wow! Every Jew is holy, mysterious, complex, and desired by the Ein Sof. In a physical world of ego and illusions, we only see external behaviors, but not the real essence of who a Yid is and why Hashem loves them.
So in a world where my ego is front and center (instead of my neshama), then my view of reality becomes so narrow that when I see the external actions of another Yid, I feel I have a legitimate reason to dislike him. But if I let myself put clear, emesdik, glasses on, I see I do not know this Yid’s full greatness at all. I do not know what Hashem has in mind for her; I don’t know all the different things Hashem is putting in her path and life in order to test her. I don’t know how precious her efforts are. In fact, I don’t know her at all. I know nothing, nothing, nothing about the infinitude of this Yid, and the holy complex mysterious entity of her neshama. And in truth, all my feelings about her are, just, baseless.
When I realize that the sinah I feel isn’t based on the fullest, truest picture of who this Yid really is, then I can start to feel a sense of awe towards them. Wow. Regardless of any external behaviors, this Jew is extremely precious to Hashem, and their presence is extremely vital in this world. Their mission here is beyond my understanding, and their level of greatness I just cannot fathom. Wow. Awe. The ahava towards them that then emerges is not based on how they look, act, or anything external; it is also… baseless. When I allow myself to acknowledge the mystery of another Jew, I can relate to them neshama-to-neshama, with pure, true, authentic warmth that doesn’t rely on external factors, not based on anything specific or understandable at all — chinam.
I want to fast forward to the time when we’re all streaming towards Har Habayis to be Oleh Regel. I can picture all different head coverings and hair coverings. All different clothing styles, payos lengths, colors, and mannerisms. And underneath every single external marker of each Jew, an undeniable, invisible pulse of real ahava towards one another, welling up from deep within our neshamos, who recognize that we are all one at the source, created and desired by the Source of all Sources.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 91.
