Q
I’ve been learning from B’yam Darkecha on “Achila” about the avodah of holy eating, but I am struggling to turn what I’ve learned into action. I usually forget entirely about eating with intention, and if I do remember, I am overwhelmed by the whole avodah, so I don’t end up doing it at all. Does the Rebbe have any practical suggestions?
A. Regarding remembering about the avodah, set yourself a reminder of some type, such as by putting something in the environment where you eat that will remind you.
Make a commitment to eat with intention for the first one minute of a particular meal (for example, supper each day). Chew slowly, put your fork down between bites, think about Hashem in any way while you eat, and avoid doing anything else for that one minute. The key to success is to only do this for one minute. If you start with a minute and right away decide that you can do more and more, you may end up trying to do more than you are ready for, and that can lead to giving up the whole avodah.
Commit to only one minute each time, and when the time is right, you can increase to two minutes, and so on.
Since “everything goes by its beginning.” Eating with holiness for the first minute of a meal helps to sanctify the rest of the meal to some degree as well, even if you aren’t conscious of it. This is why it is better to eat with intention for the first minute rather than the last minute.
Q
Is it OK to repeat words of davening again and again to help with having more kavana?
A. We are taught to avoid repeating parts of davening for the purpose of having kavana if we forgot to have kavana the first time, because often the reality is that we may end up not having kavana the second time as well.
However, if you did have kavana the first time and you want to repeat the words again and again in order to deepen your kavana and to be davuk with Hashem, that is an amazing thing to do!! Hashem wants our heart in davening, and Chazal teach us not to make our davening a repetitive routine (keva). If we follow our heart and repeat phrases in davening out of a passion to connect to Hashem more and more, that is a sure sign that our davening is both an expression of the heart and not “keva.”
A sign that your repetition of words is an expression of dveikus is if you seem to automatically repeat words as if it just happens on its own. In a way, you cannot control yourself, you just have to say it again and connect to it deeper!
Q
Is there any part of davening where repeating words for dveikus is not allowed?
A. There are some parts of davening where we are supposed to read a specific tefillah that has a classification of a “kriah,” then we should do a proper reading, which means to read each word properly one time. That is not a good place to repeat words for the purpose of dveikus. Examples of this include Krias Shema and also other “krias” such as “Krias Megillah.” In addition, parts of davening that have specific and intentional numbers of words should not be changed. An example of this is in Kedusha where we say “Kadosh, Kadosh, Kadosh” three times, one should not say Kadosh seven times for the purpose of dveikus.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 69.