I really would love to be mechazek myself in learning, but I feel that I never remember anything I learn, and I don’t have enough time to do proper chazarah. It all feels like one big waste of time.
Before we answer, let’s introduce a special avodah we have in our generation. Chazal teach that in the times of the first Beis HaMikdash, there was a powerful yetzer hara for idol worship, and Chazal went and rectified it. Together with that rectification, nevuah also stopped — because these two forces are deeply interconnected. The greatest klipah is avodah zarah, and the greatest kedushah is nevuah.
We know that when Moshiach comes, nevuah will return. In truth, this process has already begun — we see so many people awakening to deepen their connection to Hashem and deveikus. As Reb Tzadok HaKohen writes, the nekudah hapnimis she’balev — the inner point of the Jewish heart — grows stronger in later generations:
דאף על פי שהדורות הולכים ומתקטנים ולא אכשור דרי, מכל מקום הנקודה שבלב איש הישראלי הולכת ומשתלמת יותר ומאירה יותר בכל דור עד עת קץ שתשתלם לגמרי
“Although the generations continue to diminish and the world becomes less worthy, nevertheless, the point within the heart of every Jewish person grows more complete and shines ever brighter with each generation, until the final time — when it will reach its full perfection.”
If there is a resurgence of kedushah in our generation, there must also be a resurgence of the corresponding klipah — the yetzer hara of avodah zarah — since the two always mirror each other.
If we think about it, the yetzer hara of avodah zarah doesn’t seem logical. Why would anyone bow to a piece of wood or stone? It’s absurd. This is because avodah zarah represents a klipah called etzem, one that attacks the very core of who we are. In our time, we see this manifest when people “bow” to materialism, endlessly chasing their money or status. The same with someone addicted to technology, he surrenders his atzmus — his real, inner self — and his soul falls into a kind of deep sleep. This, too, is a modern form of avodah zarah.
The way to overcome this klipah is through understanding atzmiyus nishmas Yisrael — the core essence of the Jewish soul. We counter the klipah of etzem with the kedushah of etzem, by realizing that each one of us is inherently and deeply connected — b’etzem! — to Hashem. When a person knows this truth, he can say with confidence, “I am great, and nothing bad can overshadow my greatness.” This gives a person strong chizuk not to fall, because he thinks, “If I am truly this great, why would I abandon my real self and chase meaningless pleasures?”
We have to start looking at Torah in a way of etzem. When I learn Torah, I’m connecting my neshama to Hashem — feeding it nourishment. The Torah is not something outside of me — it’s my core essence. When I learn Torah, I’m sitting in Gan Eden, being nehene miziv haShechinah!
This is why one should learn at least once by day and once by night — because Torah is the food of the neshama. Davening and mitzvos are like water, but only Torah is ‘food’. If a person thinks that his learning only has value when he remembers it, he is not understanding that the main purpose of learning is to connect to Hashem — and that connection happens even if one forgets.
Continued next week…
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 57.