What is the avodah of the fast day, Asarah b’Teves, and what can we learn from the fact that it comes out when we are still somewhat on a high from the heiligeh days of Chanukah?
The Zohar says that the year is split into three parts. One part corresponds to middas hachesed, one to middas hagevurah, and one to middas hatiferes. The months of Adar through Sivan correspond to middas hachesed. Purim, Pesach, and Shavuos are yomim tovim full of incredible chesed and rachamim. The months of Elul through Kislev correspond to middas hatiferes. They are also months of rachamim and yomim tovim, but with a slight feeling of din as well, a balance between rachamim and din. The months of Tammuz and Av, Teves and Shevat, correspond to middas hagevurah. These months are split up and not all next to one another, so that there shouldn’t be too much gevurah all at once.
To understand this deeper, we have to know that there is really no such thing as something bad. Din is just another way of coming close to Hashem. There is a way to come close through rachamim, when we see Hashem’s abundant goodness and are drawn into dveikus through that. And there is a way to come close through din, when something goes a little off and, with chitzoniyus eyes, it looks bad. Then the avodah is to cling to Hashem by knowing that everything Hashem does is for the good, kol mah d’avid Rachmana l’tav avid. No one can do anything to me; it is all Hashem. The avodah is to find the yichud of Hashem and emunah specifically in the difficult situations.
Din is not bad; it is just that the hashpa’ah is hidden. To us it looks bad, but really, it is just a different form of hashpa’ah. Just like day and night. One might ask why it isn’t always day, since night is dark and lonely. But we all know that night has tremendous gifts. It gives us the ability to start fresh the next day, and it is a time that we can acquire emunah —V’emunoscha bal’leilos. There are special avodos one can specifically do right in the middle of the night, at chatzos, and Chazal say that a person acquires most of his learning at night. All of this is because night and din are a special form of avodah.
The entire galus is this kind of avodah. Here too, we see how precious a time of din is; Klal Yisroel has the opportunity to show Hashem loyalty in a way we couldn’t even do in the times of the Beis Hamikdash. A father gives presents to his children, and he also punishes them. Both are forms of giving. Many times, the punishment is an even greater gift than the presents. But punishment hurts. When Hashem gives din, if a person can truly grow into this avodah, it doesn’t even hurt. Rebbe Nachman says that when something hurts, a person closes his eyes. This teaches that when you feel pain, close your regular gashmiyusdig eyes and enter into deep emunah. This lessens the pain and turns it into an experience of dveikus. This is not to say that physical pain will instantly disappear through emunah. Sometimes physical pain is given to refine the nefesh habehamis.
After we were zoche to a meaningful Chanukah and filled ourselves with ohr, we now move to a higher level. Hashem wants us to learn how to deal with din. This is not a fall; on the contrary, it is an ascent to a higher madreigah. Like a child at the beginning of the school year. At first, the rebbe gives treats and prizes. Once the child feels secure, the rebbe starts giving tests, because he wants the child to grow. So too with Hashem. At the beginning of the year, He gives us sweetness, and then He wants us to truly grow. In that sense, this avodah is even greater than Chanukah.
That is why we have Tu B’Shvat at the end of these months. The Tzadikim teach that Tu B’Shvat corresponds to middas hayesod. “Yesod” means “hiskashrus,” (connection).Specifically, when a person has a nisayon, whether with shmiras einayim or anything else, the avodah is to bind himself to Hashem from wherever he is, to know that you are always with Hashem, no matter where you find yourself. This kind of connection is specifically born from within din.
The sefarim teach that Teves is a time to try to learn lishmah. One might wonder how that fits, since Teves is a month of din. Ezra HaSofer passed away, and the light of Torah was diminished. The answer is that it is true; it is harder to learn now. It is dark. But that is exactly the avodah. Don’t go to sleep during katnus and darkness. On the contrary, push harder and aim for lishmah. This is Hashem inviting you to find Him in the darkness. He wants to make you bigger and better through your emunah, loyalty, and effort.
When this avodah is done properly, a person is zoche to build his own third Beis Hamikdash, and to experience Purim and Pesach on a new and beautiful level.
Din is not bad; it is just that the hashpa’ah is hidden.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 63.