Harav Pinchos Halbershtat, shlit’a, esteemed author of the Beyam Darkecha seforim, answers our most pressing questions about the depth, meaning, and avodah of the Yom Tov of Pesach.
His approach is deeply rooted in the teachings of the Tzaddikim, yet always practical, accessible, and grounded in real-life avodah.
How can we balance the great avodah of the holy Seder, with the balagan of kids and family, etc.?
The Seder is a time that we can come to a clarity in emunah, where we can elevate ourselves in knowing that Hashem is the one who does everything! “Viydatem ki ani Hashem!” When the balagan starts during the Seder, we must realize that Hashem is serving us the exact avodah of the Seder night, on a silver platter. He wants you to realize that He is the one sending you the distractions. He wants you to realize that He is the One calling the shots! He knows exactly which avodah is the one needed from you!
It is a stronger exercise in finding Hashem, “Viyatem ki ani Hashem,” when we have trouble finding Him. Keeping our emunah and not getting thrown off or frustrated with the ’balagan of the Seder’ is an important part of the spiritual mission of the night. In that sense, if Hashem orchestrates that we find ourselves in a Seder where we find it difficult to connect to Him in a meaningful way, in essence that is Hashem giving us an even more powerful opportunity for connection.
With this idea in mind, we will come to the Seder night with a feeling of peace and calm, without any expectations or anxiety! Sometimes a sense of stress is created at the Seder specifically because the family senses that the father is anxious about having a “super-heiligeh” Seder, and that the father has an internal conflict between his avodah and being there for the rest of the family. When the family sees the father entering the Seder relaxed and upbeat, without expectations, ready to have an incredible Seder with the family, the children end up mirroring that calmness, and leaning into the ultimate message of the leil haseder.
How can I connect to Hashem on Pesach in a deep and meaningful way if I find myself in an environment that seems shallow and surface-level?
We all want to feel ohr and loftiness on the Seder night. We want to feel freedom and geulah, but sometimes we find ourselves still being in Mitzrayim. We feel that everything that surrounds us is of a galus mindset. The way to deal with this is based on a famous saying from Rebbe Nachman, which says that the beginning of Pesach is actually on Purim. We tend to think that in order to feel holy and close to Hashem, we have to leave our surroundings and enter a totally spiritual atmosphere. We have to leave our ’comfort zone’ and become angels, but, in truth, the opposite is correct. On Purim we celebrate our closeness to Hashem even though there was no full geulah, as we stayed slaves to Achashverosh: ’acatei avdei Achashverosh anan’. On Purim we learned that even if on the outside we do not see with clarity that Hashem is close to us, He really is right there the whole time!!
So when we come to Pesach, with the message of Purim alive inside of us, we must be confident that our neshamah is for sure going out of Mitzrayim and experiencing a geulas hanefesh. The fact that I don’t feel it enough because of my surroundings does not take away from that. On the contrary! It gives me a rare opportunity to find Hashem in Mitzrayim! Through this a person can come to a beautiful recognition that Hashem is truly everywhere!
In practical terms, when a person is met with such a situation, try to contemplate and be clear with yourself that Hashem is definitely here too, and that your neshamah for sure feels the geulah! Try to think about it over and over until you actually feel it with serenity, and if it is hard for you to concentrate on this idea, daven to Hashem and beseech him: “I know that you are right here even though I don’t feel it. Please help me feel your presence.” Daven this over and over until you feel Hashem’s presence light you up!
How can I balance my desire to reach a deep place of personal closeness to Hashem during the Seder, with my responsibility to inspire others? Sometimes it can feel like I need to choose one or the other.
It is our holy duty to spread avodas Hashem as much as we can! When a person helps Hashem’s children, he does not lose from it. He only gains! Even if he feels that he is losing from his own personal spiritual growth.
Nevertheless, a person has to not lose his own self and erase his nekudas ha’etzem, as only a person who is in touch with his own self could have a hashpaah on other people. From the writings of the Arizal, we learn that one should split his or her time, two-thirds for others, and one-third for their own personal growth.
On a practical level, we should definitely be involved in teaching other people and lighting them up, especially during the Hagaddah, but we should make sure to find some time for ourselves to meditate and contemplate on the deeper levels that we personally wish to achieve. A perfect time to take for ourselves can be found during the quiet moments while we are eating the matzah and drinking the four cups.
How can I have a meaningful second Seder, when it feels like the whole thing is just a repeat of the first?
Laughs) I would actually ask a different question: How can the Yidden in Eretz Yisroel manage with only one Seder? But the truth is that every madreiga that a person wants to access has three parts to it: the outer more technical information [binah], the deeper, pnimius of it [chochmah], and then the deepest most inner connection, which a person can not even bring out with words and actions [kesser]. We also find this model when learning Torah, where the first time one learns a piece of gemara they only understand the outer picture of the sugya, and the more they learn it, the more they appreciate and understand the depth of it.
When we come to the second Seder it is not just a repeat — it is a whole new level of spiritual depth. We are growing from a very subtle technical understanding to a much deeper and more spiritual understanding!
Even after the second Seder there is yet an even higher level of depth, but that level has no external actions associated with it because it is very internal and personal, between one and Hashem. That is why there is no third seder.
How can I elevate my Chol Hamoed?
We have to do everything we can to change our attitude towards Chol Hamoed and treat it like a Yom Tov. We should dress in Shabbos clothes, try to daven together with like-minded people, and say Hallel with geshmak and song. When we get home, we can also eat breakfast with the whole family together. Even when eating a simple breakfast like matzah and butter, it can be elevated by using a tablecloth and eating with the whole family together. The idea is that the many outer actions that we do to show that these days are not regular will then have an effect on our general attitude towards Chol Hamoed.
After doing all that, we can definitely go on family trips, and they will be with a very Yomtovdig twist, after starting our day with a spiritual kick!
Can the Rebbe sum up the avodah of the Seder night in one line?
Wow! May Hashem put the right words in my mouth!
After the Seder, one should feel reborn! Just as a newborn receives everything anew, so too on Pesach night, we are completely renewed—ourselves, our world, everything is on a higher level!
It says after Kriyas Yam Suf, “vayaminu b’Hashem ubi’Moshe avdo.” Why do we need emunah in Tzadikim if we have emunah in Hashem, and what does emunas Tzadikim mean on a practical level?
In the times of the Beis HaMikdash, when Hashem had a message for us, He sent a Navi with a specific nevuah. Even with strong emunah and a real connection to Hashem, we still needed guidance to know His Will. The same is true of Tzadikim—Hashem sends them to every generation to convey His ratzon in a way relevant to the time.
But the Tzadikim don’t just tell us what Hashem wants from us. They also give us the spiritual boost and strength to be able to actualize the messages they convey to us. Therefore we say vayaminu b’Hashem, and together we say ubi’Moshe avdo, because without the Tzadikim we would never have the wisdom and power to come close to Hashem! Without the Tzadikim the vayaminu b’Hashem would be so far from us, so much bigger than us. Therefore Hashem gave us the Tzadikim and their seforim to give us the tools and spiritual energy to come close to Him.
[We are already very used to the fact that we are close to Hashem and can talk to him, but this is also something that we learned from the Tzadikim and got the strength from them. Without the Tzadikim we would never be able to talk to Hashem. What is our worth that we can talk to the Creator of the whole universe? But the Tzadikim have lightened up the world and were megaleh that Hashem wants us to talk to Him like a close friend, and so it is with all avodos].
How should we deal with inconsistencies in emunah? We fluctuate between being totally taken over by the clarity of emunah, and at other times we only feel a very shallow level of emunah.
A person must know with utmost clarity: we are all maaminim bnei maaminim. It is built into our DNA — there is no way out! The fact that we sometimes don’t feel it enough is just a covering that Hashem has put on, like a lightbulb when you cover it with a blanket. It looks dark, but really the light is still on with the same strength. It is just covered!
The reason why Hashem sometimes covers up the emunah is because He wants us to uncover it! He wants us to realize with utmost clarity that there is no place or situation where he is not there!
On a practical level, when a person feels a very shallow emunah, he should open up his mouth and tell Hashem “I know and believe that I really have a solid, steadfast emunah, and the reason why I don’t feel it is because you are covering it up. Please Abba, it is really hard for me! I yearn to feel emunah with utmost clarity. I yearn to find your presence even in the dark.” This will most definitely uncover the emunah on an even higher level, like the Tzadikim said “he’emanti ki adaber:” through talking I came to emunah.
What chizuk can be given to someone who has to spend the Seder in uncomfortable circumstances, by themself physically or emotionally, etc.?
Chazal teach that when one learns alone, “HaKadosh Baruch Hu yoshev veshone k’negdo”—Hashem sits and learns opposite him. Yet, the Mishnah in Avos emphasizes that the Shechinah rests among groups of 10, 5, or 3. So what is unique about learning alone?
When a person is alone with Hashem, he experiences a direct, face-to-face connection—k’negdo. In moments of solitude, one receives special attention, allowing one to delve into spirituality on a deeper level than when surrounded by others.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 31 Special Pesach.
