Question: I find it very hard to connect to the halachos of mourning during the 3 weeks, like not listening to music, etc. Am I supposed to feel bad and sad for the whole Three Weeks?
Answer: These avodos of connecting to the Shechinah, Beis Hamikdash and Yerushalyim, and Klal Yisroel, are the most important avodos of all! These are the core essence of Yiddishkeit, and of the whole world!!
Why is the Beis Hamikdash so important?
The purpose of creation is that the light of Hashem should manifest itself in this world, and the Beis Hamikdash was the place where this happened on a constant basis. The passuk says שישו איתה כל המתאבלים עליה, rejoice with her, those who mourned over her. This is not just a ‘prize’, that if one mourns he is zoche to be part of the rebuilding. The deeper meaning of this is that someone who mourns, is automatically zoche to be close to the Shechinah all the time, and be connected to Hashem on the highest level! He feels that Hashem is with him everywhere; Hashem is shochen in him! When the Beis Hamikdash was here, Hashem’s presence manifested there, and now we can access that manifestation by mourning for the Beis Hamikdash.
This is why these heilige avodos are relevant the whole year. It is very worthwhile to engage in these avodos all year round – it pays off very well, and helps strengthen your connection to the Shechinah!
The reason Chazal made certain restrictions during these weeks is because, for example, if someone wants a certain color to be very vivid and clear, he should put it on a black background. As the Zohar Hakadosh writes, לית נהורא אלא דנפיק מגו חשיכא, there is no light except the light that comes forth from the darkness. This is why when we want to feel the ohr and light of the Shechinah, if we first paint a black background, the light can shine without distraction!
If someone is very used to listening to music, and during the Three Weeks he feels a certain emptiness in his neshamah, this is how he creates a black background. Hashem wants us to quiet down any distractions so that we can keep our focus on our connection to Him!
Hashem wants to give us only good. He doesn’t want us being in bad moods. On the contrary, He just wants us to be focused totally on Him without distractions! The Three Weeks are like the week of Sheva Brachos: this is the time when we spend the whole time one with another, and no one else is in the room with us. It is a very unique time of building our connection. This way, for our whole life we can stay connected!!
The avodah l’maaseh is to learn about connecting to Hashem, talk to Him about it, tell Him how much you really want to live with Him and beseech Him to be zoche to live with Him at all times! One can say the Tehillim of Tikun Chatsos, [during the Three Weeks the Arizal says to say Tikun Chatzos by day also], or say one of the kinnos that you feel connected to each day, and keep on thinking about Hashem – not in a sad [atzvus] way, but in a serene, calm way.
One who does this during the Three Weeks, is zoche to live with the Shechinah the whole year. One who is with the king when he is thrown away from the palace will stay connected later when the king comes back, and will be able to scream “hamelech” on Rosh Hashanah!
When one understands this, the halachos are not just symbolic things we have to do, they are full of light, and even if, chas v’sahlom, the Beis Hamikdash is not built yet, we gain a deep connection to Hashem for the whole year!
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 45.
