A little while ago, I wrote an I wrote an article in the Nekuda Tova called ‘Missing Diamonds, Finding Love’. I had noticed a diamond missing from a precious ring of mine. I was upset till I flipped my focus to appreciating all the little diamond stones I still had. That led me to realize that every diamond stone I own was created and designated for me before Adam and Chana were even created. Hashem planned that those diamonds, waiting in the earth’s crust, were going to be worn by Shana Cohen. It made me feel Hashem’s cosmic-level love for me in every little diamond I still had.
I felt like I grew in that bitachon challenge.
Turns out, that was just the warm-up, pre-game challenge. Just recently we went away for Shabbos to a family simcha. I packed up my jewelry with me, and over Shabbos it all disappeared.
You wrote about missing a little diamond and finding Hashem’s love? Cute. Now all your diamonds are going to go missing. Welcome to the big leagues, Cohen.
This is somewhat embarrassing to write about, because I’m aware it could make me look irresponsible. But I have no explanation for how my jewelry came with me in the suitcase, but once we were there, it was just gone, and I couldn’t find it anywhere. All my most precious jewelry — yichud room earrings, gifts, etc. gone. Nowhere to be found.
My first thought: ‘Not cool, G-d.’
My second thought: “OK, this is obviously from You. You can make the jewelry appear anywhere. Can you please, please just make me find it?”
I started searching everywhere. Where on earth could it have gone? Bewilderment turned into desperation. Cmon please, please, please. Not my jewelry! You know how much this means to me! Stop please. Please, please, please. I actually teared up. Hashem! Cmonnnnnnnnnn!!
After the weekend of looking and asking, we had to leave, and I held onto hope that maybe the jewelry had been left at home all along. We got home.
Nothing. I did as much hishtadlus as I could. Trust me, I did. Nothing turned up. I was so frustrated by the powerlessness of the situation. I didn’t want to be without jewelry, and I just couldn’t figure out a way to actually get it back. It was gone.
Ok, Cohen. Get it together. This is a bitachon challenge. But that just made me so sad. I could work on my bitachon in other areas! Why did you take my jewelry away?!
I davened, and I told Hashem, “I know this is only from You. And You are all good and compassionate. And You want me to have my jewelry. You are my Father, and You want me to wear the jewelry that I love. Obviously this is a test, and I trust You here. I will grow in my bitachon. Please help me gain and grow in whatever I’m meant to gain, and also give me my jewelry back.”
I spent the next Shabbos with almost no jewelry to put on. Right before candle-lighting, I saw myself in the mirror. No jewelry. I teared up. Wait, I’m about to begin Shabbos, and I can’t be sad on Shabbos. This timing is from Hashem. I chose trust.
Shortly afterwards, I spoke for a N’shei event, and right before I left the house, I looked in the mirror. My hands just felt bare. Such a weird feeling. I didn’t know what my next steps were supposed to be. How am I supposed to replace all my jewelry? I don’t want to be without anything. I chose bitachon in Hashem’s plan.
That very afternoon, I put money in Reb Meir Baal Haness pushka and said the tefillah. I went to pick up my kids from camp.
I promise you, when I arrived home, there was a sparkly pink package at my door. I opened it up. 3 rings. 2 bracelets. One necklace. Beautiful pieces. Each had a message of bitachon engraved on them.
The most gorgeous ring said “Ein Od Milvado” on it. The necklace said the same. One bracelet had engraved “hodu l’Hashem ali tov,” thank Hashem because he is good. The other bracelet had engraved “haboteach b’Hashem chesed yissovivenu,” he who trusts in Hashem will be surrounded in chessed.
Hashem speaking directly to me — engraving a message onto beautiful jewelry and sending it directly to my doorstep. “I got you, Shana. I’m taking care of the situation. There’s nothing but me. You’re right, everything I’m doing is good.”
There’s a derech hateva explanation for all this. That’s OK. Hashem communicates very loudly through teva.
A jewelry store called The Honest Jeweler reached out to me many months ago. Her stuff is beautiful and very mission-driven. She engraves meaningful messages into jewelry and seeks to spread emunah and bitachon.
We talked briefly about doing a collab together, and I gave her my address so I could see a sample of what she was referring to. We hadn’t been in touch much since then.
Months later, on the exact day I was acutely missing having jewelry, and I was stretching and growing in my bitachon, Hashem sent me a package of beautiful jewelry, with messages for me on theme.
Hi Hashem. Thank you. I see you. I love you. I trust you. Thanks for this big hug. And also please give me my actual diamond jewelry back very soon. Thank you for Your attention to this matter.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Nekuda Tova Listing.
