Becoming a Little Bardichever
When Reb Levi Yitzchok of Bardichev was young, just entering the world of chassidus, he went to learn in the yeshiva of Reb Shmelke of Nikolsburg. He arrived in the Yeshiva on a Friday morning. Nobody knew who he was; he was just a young bochur named Levi Yitzchok — younger than everyone else in the yeshiva — who had come to learn. The rest of the yeshiva kept an eye on him, looking to see if he was a good fit for this great yeshiva.
After Shachris, everyone removed their tefillin, but young Levi Yitzchok kept his on, and made his way into the kitchen, where he met Reb Shmelke’s Rebbetzin, who was preparing the Shabbos food for the yeshiva. He started to shmooze with her, asking about the various foods she was making for Shabbos. The rest of the yeshiva saw this unusual interaction and were not very impressed with this new bochur’s behavior. But that was only strike one.
Later on, when most of the yeshiva was in the Beis Medrash, young Levi Yitzchok was seen casually walking around and shmoozing. What was this ‘new guy’ doing? The yeshiva of Reb Shmelke was a serious place! The bochurim started to think maybe he wasn’t very serious about Yiddishkeit, and this yeshiva was probably not a good fit for him.
Shabbos arrived, and now it was time for the Friday night tish. During the tish, Reb Shmelke was looking around the room, until he stopped, fixated, on this new young man, Levi Yitzchok. While everyone else had already judged him, and decided ‘who he was,’ Reb Shmelke’s eyes lit up. He called young Levi Yitzchok over, stood up for him, and gave him a place of honor right next to him. The talmidim were stunned. Of all people, why was Reb Shmelke honoring this newcomer, the one who spent his time shmoozing with the rebbetzin about the Shabbos food and shmoozing during morning seder?
They had to get to the bottom of this, and they found an opportunity over Shabbos to ask Reb Shmelke what was going on.
Reb Shmelke answered with a Gemara in Brachos about Rav, one of the greatest Amoraim. The Gemara says that Rav never spoke sicha beteilah, idle talk. “But,” said Reb Shmelke, “I don’t understand. Surely none of the other Amoraim wasted their words either! So what was unique about Rav? And why is this the compliment the Gemara gives him, that he didn’t say things he didn’t need to — why not compliment his astounding spiritual achievements like his Torah learning or davening?”
Reb Shmelke answered that certainly the other Amoraim did not speak idly either. But what was unique about Rav was that even if it looked like he was speaking ordinary words, having plain conversations with people, that too was not sicha beteilah. Even contained within those conversations was davening, and learning, and efforts to try to bring brachos to Yidden. Even if it seemed to be idle and meaningless talk, it was exactly the opposite. That was the Gemara’s ‘compliment’ about Rav.
Reb Shmelke concluded: “That’s what I see in this young man, Levi Yitzchok.”
We wrote this story in Issue 52 of Nekuda Tova last year, as told by Harav Yussie Zakutinsky Shlita, but now let’s talk about it.
I have a simple question: what does it mean that Reb Levi Yitzchok was bringing brachos to Yidden through plain conversations about mundane things? What exactly was going through his mind when he discussed the Shabbos menu with Reb Shmelke’s Rebbetzin?
The truth is we have no way of knowing exactly what he was thinking. But rather than writing off this story as a “nice chassidishe maaseh” that is unrelatable to us, let’s try to think of how we can connect to this unique avodah. Sure, we are not on Bardichever-level-advocacy for our fellow Jews, but can we be Little Bardichevers?
To be a Little Bardichever is to have two conversations at the same time. One is to the person you are talking to, with the words you are saying, and the second is about the person you are talking to, with your thoughts. That second part is a quiet sicha (dialogue) between you and Hashem.
Let’s say you are trying to encourage or uplift someone, as an example. You care about him, and you ask him how he’s doing because you have a genuine interest in talking to him. [Not like the line I heard recently that goes: “the definition of a nudnik is when you ask someone how he’s doing and he actually answers you about how he is doing.”]
You are trying to uplift him, but we’ve all had times that we tried to encourage someone and it fell flat. Just like every other piece of hishtadlus we do in the world, from advertising our business to taking tylenol for a headache, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. We go through the motions, but we are always leaning on Hashem; if He wants it to happen it will happen even if our hishtadlus is weak, and if He doesn’t it won’t happen even with the strongest hishtadlus in the world.
To be a Little Bardichever is to include Hashem in the conversation. So I’m shmoozing with Yankle, who is sick and feeling down. On a simple level, I am talking to my fellow Jew, trying to encourage him. “Heiligeh Yankle, I am so sorry to hear about the health challenge you are having! Is there anything I can do to help?”
At the same time, I am having a sicha with Hashem. “Hashem, Yankle is such a heiligeh Yid! Just look at how bothered he is by the fact that he can’t daven or learn properly because of his illness – what a Yid! Hashem, You alone are the Healer of all sickness, please help him get through his health challenge quickly and have a full recovery. If I can play any role in being a shliach to help in any way, please open my eyes to what I can do or say to support Yankle.”
I recently shared these thoughts during a Shabbos morning shiur with the holy Yidden of Etz Chaim Synagogue in Jacksonville, Florida. We realized the only way to try to become Little Bardichevers is to set a realistic and specific goal. We gave ourselves the Kiddush Challenge: This Shabbos, during Kiddush, we challenge ourselves to have one conversation, with any Yid and about any topic, and advocate for him while talking to him.
Let’s take the middah of the Amora Rav for a test drive. Let’s be Little Bardichevers.
Will you take the Kiddush Challenge?
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 85.