They say the longest distance is the one between the head and heart. It’s pretty easy to know something logically or intellectually. But for it to make its way into our hearts, so that we feel differently, and then ultimately act differently, is so much harder. Sometimes we need a good “hack” to help bridge the gap.
My favorite hack of all time is something I call “Shabbos Money.”
Right after I got married, my new husband told me that Hashem pays you back for money you spend on Shabbos. He and I wanted Shabbos to be really kavodik in our home.
I was maskim intellectually. But as the eager wife-working-hard-to-support-her-husband-in-learning, I wasn’t so excited to be swiping on expensive foods I considered “out of our budget.”
My husband, with his rock-solid faith, shared, “For Shabbos, there is no budget.”
“How can that be? I believe that Hashem will pay us back, but practically, we can only spend what we can afford, no?”
So off he went to his Rebbe, R’ Yitzchok Berkowitz, to delve into the topic of spending money for Shabbos.
Turns out, Hashem pays people back for spending money on Torah, Shabbos, Yom Tov, and (some even include) Rosh Chodesh, which actually forms the acronym “Tishrei.” Beyond whatever money a person is judged to get over the year on Rosh Hashanah, any money they spend on the above categories, Hashem will pay them back for, and it doesn’t come out of their own personal budget.
This required more meetings with his Rebbe to pepper him with questions like:
“What if there is a $1,000 difference between two options? Should there be any hesitation in getting the more expensive one?” “No.
“Does money for Shabbos and Yom Tov include flowers, tablecloths, jewelry?”
“Yes.”
“What if I want to buy a couch for my Sukkah?”
“Free.”
Rabbi Berkowitz did make an important guideline. “It can’t be weird. It has to be that if you actually had the money, you would buy the stuff.” He also shared, “As long as you’re buying it so that your Shabbos will be enhanced, it’s free. If you don’t care for Shabbos and you just want a free steak, then it is not free.”
I wondered if the money back was a guarantee. Do we need perfect bitachon in order to rely on this? “No, but you have to believe that Hashem will pay you back.”
Rav Berkowitz also conveyed that if you really believe Hashem will pay you back, then everything will work out smoothly and beautifully. But if your belief isn’t so strong, then Hashem will still pay you back, but He will make you sweat for it, and it may come with some headaches.
Even when my husband came back armed with the answers he dutifully typed up in a document, and had it checked over by R’ Berkowitz, I was still working to develop the emunah muscles to really go for it. I knew Hashem would pay us back, but I was learning to see it and feel it.
The first bit of “extra, unexpected money” we noticed were those $1,200 Coronavirus stimulus checks from the US Government. We could have looked at that as extra, unexpected money. Or we could look at that as money Hashem sent us to pay us back for our Shabbos expenses.
So we created a note on my phone called “Shabbos Money.” Every time “random” money unexpectedly came into our lives, we attributed it to the money Hashem was paying us back and immediately recorded it in the note.
Shortly thereafter, we decided to go out to eat together l’kavod Rosh Chodesh. We wanted to trust that Hashem would pay us back for money spent l’kavod Rosh Chodesh. When we were done with our meal, an unexpected family member showed up at the same restaurant and decided to take care of the bill! We quickly wrote that exciting incident down in the note.
A little later, someone gave my husband $61.70 because he said he had written down that he owed my husband that money but forgot to write down why. Into the “Shabbos Money” note it went.
After we moved to Israel, a very old family friend reached out and told us they had put money as store credit for us at a Judaica store on Ben Yehuda, and told us to go pick out some Judaica as a wedding gift. We were shocked at how far that store credit got us.
All those things could have been chalked up to nice gestures or hashgacha pratis moments, and then we could’ve moved on.
But because we were committed to finding the ways Hashem was paying us back for Shabbos expenses, our eyes would light up any time “random money” came into our lives, and we would immediately attribute it to “Shabbos Money!”
Hashem has paid us back hundreds of times, in the most creative ways! Sometimes, it’s literally random cash I find in the pocket of an old coat, inside a random diaper bag, or on the floor outside somewhere. Sometimes, it’s through gift cards or randomly “winning” giveaways. Another time, a family whose shidduch I had been involved in decided to Zelle $200, just because.
All beautiful hashgacha pratis moments, explainable in natural ways, but all part of the myriad ways that Hashem, the Kol Yachol, reimburses us for Shabbos expenses.
Sometimes, I’ll even see “pre-emptive payback,” like in the form of something I was about to purchase somehow showing up for free. There was a specific baby product I was planning to buy, and then someone posted on a local Ramat Eshkol chat that they were giving it away. That was $40 of Shabbos Money!
I have written down dozens and dozens of the most heartwarming moments. Winks from Hashem, where He faithfully sends us back the means to continue being able to purchase items l’kavod Shabbos.
R’ Shimshon Pincus writes a beautiful analogy of how Hashem is likened to the host, and we are simply the party planner. If the host asks a party planner to make a beautiful party, the party planner doesn’t say, “I can’t afford that!” The host is the one footing the bill for the event!
When it comes to Shabbos, Hashem says, “I’m coming. Make for us a beautiful, enjoyable seudah, full of delicacies. Please don’t hold back! I’m the One taking care of the bill.”
The “Shabbos Money” note on my phone has changed my life. I invite you to let it change yours too.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 95.
