The importance of ahavas Yisroel is not up for debate. From small children to adults, we know that sinas chinam was the reason the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed. We’re familiar with the mitzvah of ‘v’ahavta l’reacha kamocha,’ the biblical commandment to love your fellow Jew. We are well aware of the gravity of this Torah mitzvah, for we bear the tremendous intergenerational consequences when we don’t get it right. But why is it that in my head I can know it’s important to love Yidden, but in my heart I feel nothing? Where is that gap coming from?
The post above addresses that dissonance on a very practical level.
The yetzer hara likes to block feelings of ahavas Yisroel by dressing up in a righteous voice and telling us that, of course, we’d love to love every Jew, but only if they’re acting in a way we agree with. It causes us to become hyper-sensitive to the behaviors of others, deeming them ‘absolutely not okay’, while convincing us to go easy on ourselves even in all the areas ‘we know, we know, we really should be working on’.
Being able to separate out the action from the individual is a golden skill. Truth-seeking, hard-working Ovdei Hashem have every right to get upset at things that look like dishonor to Hashem’s kavod. We have a right to be disappointed with choices which we are taught are wrong.
But a fellow Jew can never be reduced to just his actions. The action may be wrong, but the Jew is still precious. The neshama within is tehora, untainted. The mitzvah of ahavas Yisroel is to love the neshama — not the actions — of our fellow Jew.
Let’s attempt to make our internal voices get along, by hearing them out, and accepting each of them:
- “I am trying my best in my own avodas Hashem.”
- “This other Jew is precious just because they are a Jew.”
- “I don’t have to agree with their actions.”
- “I can feel disappointment with their choices.”
- “I still love and appreciate Yidden.”
When we can make harmony internally, with these separate voices, we can radiate that harmony outwards, integrating all Jews into the fabric of one collective, united people.
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 84.
