Hisbodidus 101

The Who, What, Where, When, and Why of Personal Prayer

Sunny Levi is a mom of six living in Arizona, an 8th-degree black belt and Taekwondo master, emunah life coach, and teacher of hisbodidus. Through her popular Spiritual Growth Bootcamp, she empowers women to strengthen their relationship with Hashem and internalize their emunah so they can live with clarity, purpose, and inner strength. Connect with her on social media or at sunnylevi.com.

Hisbodidus isn’t just another task to check off your to-do list—it’s a practice that transforms the way you experience life. It’s a lifeline. It’s not about saying the right words or following a formula. It’s about being real with Hashem, expressing yourself freely, and allowing that connection to shift your inner world.

How I Discovered Hisbodidus  

I didn’t connect with prayer. I didn’t understand the Hebrew, and I wasn’t sure if Hashem was really listening. But from a young age, I was taught that I could speak to Him directly — so I did.  

Still, I saw prayer as transactional, like putting a coin in a vending machine and expecting something in return. I wanted something, so I asked Hashem to make it happen. More than anything, I wanted Him to heal my brother, who was blind and mentally disabled.  

I prayed for weeks. When nothing changed, I figured either Hashem was cruel or He wasn’t real. I gave up on prayer and gave up on Him. Maybe prayer had worked in the olden days, for the holy people in the Torah, but not for regular people like me.  

Twenty years later, everything changed. When my father passed away, I was heartbroken. I was a young mom with two little kids, drowning in grief. My husband had been learning about hisbodidus and suggested I try it. “Rebbe Nachman says we should be happy 23 hours a day, and for one hour, we should be brokenhearted with Hashem.”  

I didn’t want to be sad and dysfunctional all day. I wanted to show up for my husband and children. But I was hesitant — after all, the last time I tried talking to Hashem, it didn’t end well. Still, I was desperate. So I gave it a chance.  

I committed to speaking to Hashem for one hour a day, using that time to grieve. At first, I didn’t know what to say, but I just let it out. I cried. I shared my pain. And strangely, I felt comforted. So much so that I went back the next day — and the next, and the next.  

Something started to shift. Instead of being consumed by sadness over my father’s death, I slowly began to feel gratitude for the 27 years I had with him. My perspective on life changed. I built more love and trust in Hashem. I felt heard, understood, and supported in a way I never had before.  

I never expected to keep this up, but hisbodidus became my lifeline. It was so transformative that I’ve been doing it every day since my father’s passing—for over 18 years now. And today, I teach it to women all over the world in my Spiritual Growth Bootcamps.  

This practice changed my life. And if you give it a chance, it just might change yours, too.  

Prayer: The Portal to Hashem 

Rebbe Nachman teaches that prayer is the portal to Hashem. It is the most potent and powerful tool we have to shape our reality. If we truly want to get close to Hashem, to find Him in this hidden world, to reach our highest level of self, and to have deep inner peace and strong faith—then we must talk to Him.

What is Hisbodidus?  

Hisbodidus is commonly referred to as personal prayer, but the Hebrew word “l’hitboded” means self-seclusion or being alone. Hisbodidus is essentially the practice of being alone with Hashem in a private, personal and intimate conversation.

Many people associate it with Breslover Chassidim, shouting “ABBA” in the forests late at night, but in reality, this practice goes back much further. Yes, Rebbe Nachman was a huge proponent of personal prayer, but he did not invent it. Hisbodidus is what our ancestors—our matriarchs and patriarchs—have been doing since the beginning of time. Long before the prayer book was codified by the Anshei Knesset HaGedolah, people were connecting with Hashem in their own words, from their own hearts. That is how we originally prayed.

Why should we bother with Hisbodidus if we have a perfectly fine Siddur?

I like to answer this question with a metaphor. Imagine it’s your best friend’s birthday. You want to buy her a beautiful card, something that truly expresses your feelings for her. So, you go to the store and find the perfect card — one with a beautiful poem that seems to capture her spirit. You buy it, sign your name, and give it to her. In doing so, you’re essentially saying, “I agree with these words, and I want to honor you on your special day.”

You can give her that card, and that’s very nice. But now, think about the other side of the card — the blank side — opposite the poem. Imagine you take that blank space and fill it up with your own words. Personal messages, private jokes, hopes and wishes, memories you’ve shared together—things that are meaningful and unique to the two of you. Now, when you give her the card, it’s not just a pre-written sentiment—it’s something richer, more intimate. It carries both the thoughtful words of the card and the personal connection you’ve shared. It’s a reflection of your unique bond.

While the Siddur is beautiful, powerful, and meaningful, it doesn’t capture the entirety of who we are. It doesn’t fully reflect our personal struggles, our dreams, or our unique relationship with Hashem. The Siddur offers structured prayers that connect us to the Divine, but it’s not tailored to express the inner workings of our hearts—the things that are uniquely ours. If we truly want to get close to Hashem—which, after all, is the essence of being Jewish, the reason we observe mitzvos and study Torah—then we need to go beyond the pre-written words. We need to connect, to share, to bond with Hashem in our own way, from our own hearts.

Personal prayer is about being real with Hashem, expressing what’s inside, and nurturing that unique relationship. 

To build that connection, to feel the closeness, we need to speak to Hashem in our own language—without holding anything back. This is where the magic happens. It’s in the personal, unfiltered moments that our connection with Hashem deepens and grows stronger.

What Is the Purpose of Hisbodidus?  

The purpose of hisbodidus is connection—real, deep, personal connection with Hashem. It’s not just about reciting words; it’s about building a bond, feeling His presence, and making Him a part of your life in a tangible way. When you experience that closeness, everything changes. You gain clarity, confidence, and the strength to face life’s challenges. You start to live with more purpose, knowing you are guided and supported every step of the way.  

Think about any important relationship in your life. How do you strengthen it? You don’t just wait until you need something to reach out. You spend time together. You talk, you listen, you share your heart. That’s how trust and love grow.  

It’s the same with Hashem. If we want a real relationship with Him, we can’t leave it to chance, speaking to Him only when we’re in trouble or when inspiration strikes. We have to make time, just like we would for anyone we truly care about.  

If we genuinely believe that Hashem is our source of strength, wisdom, and guidance—more powerful than any doctor, therapist, or advisor—then why wouldn’t we turn to Him first? Why wouldn’t we be talking to Him all the time?  

Hisbodidus isn’t just another thing to do. It’s the key to transforming your life from the inside out.

Why should I say it out loud if Hashem already knows what I will say?

Hashem knows, but we don’t.When we speak from the heart, we surprise ourselves. We tap into deep places within us. We access our subconscious and our soul. When we allow ourselves to speak freely, without holding back, things come to light. We gain self-awareness and clarity. From this place, we can begin to change, grow, and transform.

“But I’m too busy!”

The busier you are, the more you have to juggle, the more you need this! I get it, trust me. As a mother of six, running spiritual growth boot camps, coaching emunah, and teaching martial arts and fitness classes, I am very busy too. Yet, I prioritize what is most important to me. It gives me energy, clarity and calm. It helps me make my days full and productive. It helps me stay focused with faith and joy. It helps me feel close to Hashem all day. 

That is why I wake up early every day to talk to Hashem. I carve out between 30–60 minutes for my hisbodidus. No matter how busy we are, we can make time for this. From this connection comes peace of mind, faith, joy, and all of our blessings.

Do I need to do an hour a day?

No! In my boot camp, I recommend starting with what is realistic and sustainable for you. It’s better to begin with a commitment of five or ten minutes a day and build up over time, rather than take on too much at once and quit altogether. Even a few minutes a day can be truly life changing! 

How do I get started?

Our sages recommend committing to a specific time and place. The consistency of time and place holds energy, making it easier to slip into the connection each day. Some examples:

• 6:30 AM in your backyard
• 3:00 PM in your car before picking up carpool
• 7:00 PM while walking around the neighborhood after dinner
• 10:00 PM under your covers before going to sleep

Once you have the time and place established, it’s time to talk!

Hisbodidus is not just a practice—it’s a relationship. The more you nurture it, the deeper your connection to Hashem will become. Rebbe Nachman teaches that we should speak to Hashem as if we are talking to a close friend—real, raw, and true. Be yourself. Speak in your own language—don’t try to sound fancy. Hashem knows you better than you know yourself. He’s a loving partner, always waiting to hear from you.

So, put this magazine down for a moment, and just take two minutes. Right now. Take a breath. Say “Hi” to Hashem. Thank Him that you can read this, that you can see, that you have a mouth and a voice. Reflect inward. Look at the choices you’ve made. Acknowledge your strengths and your challenges. Ask for help, for guidance. Ask Him to help you feel His presence more deeply. Ask Him to strengthen your relationship with Him until you can feel His love so powerfully that it becomes real in your bones. 

Hashem is waiting. He loves you. He wants the best for you. Take this moment now to connect—and feel the peace, love, and transformation that follows. Don’t wait. Start now.

How should I start the conversation?

Hisbodidus is best spoken aloud—not just thought in the head. Just like formal prayer, it should pass through your lips, even if you whisper. A great way to begin is by setting an intention: “Hi Hashem, I’m here because I want to do hisbodidus. I want to connect with You. Please open my heart and my mouth and give me the words to say. Please help me feel You and connect deeply.”

There is no script you need to follow, and you can just pour out your heart to Hashem, in your own way, with your own words. Nothing is off limits, and nothing is too small to share. If it’s on your mind, share it with Hashem! Some people have an easier time with a framework to follow. You can try this three-part template:

• Gratitude — Thank Hashem for everything in your life. Start with your body, your senses, your home, family, achievements, personality, even your struggles—because they, too, come from Hashem for a purpose.
• Self-Reflection — Look inward. Reflect on your actions, thoughts, and speech. Acknowledge where you are strong and where you need to improve. Apologize where necessary and commit to growth.
• Requests — Ask Hashem for everything you need—materially, spiritually, and emotionally. Pray for yourself, your family, your community, and the world. Nothing is too big or too small to ask for.

At the end, I like to close with gratitude: “Thank You, Hashem, for allowing me to speak to You. Thank You for listening. Please help me come back tomorrow with passion.”