In previous weeks we discussed the real goal of tefillah: a time of closeness and connection to Hashem, and how to get there. The reality is that oftentimes finding a warm connection is difficult. Sometimes, we come to daven and our heart is simply cold and closed, and the last thing we are experiencing is a deep connection to Hashem. The Beyam Darkecha suggests four strategies, or tools, to overcome this block. We will explore two this week, and two next week.
- Push Forward. At times, when internal connection seems impossible, we should exert ourselves to daven with simplicity, and focus on just reciting the holy words. The secret to success is not to be thrown off, or broken, by the fact that we feel distant, but to know that Hashem is always with us. Push yourself to daven as best as you can, despite the fact that you aren’t connecting in the way you aspire to. Don’t wait until you are feeling inspired. The goal now is to push with strength, determination, and a holy chutzpah to daven despite lacking an inner connection, even while focus is difficult and the mind wanders.
This kind of davening is actually the greatest honor to Hashem – that we did not let the yetzer hara “steal” our davening, but persevered to keep going, to daven another word, and another word, in honor of Hashem, despite the difficulty in doing so. The yetzer hara is waiting for us to give up, saying Hashem doesn’t want our imperfect tefillah. But Hashem is waiting for us to beat that yetzer hara, and is cheering us on in this battle, hoping we will win and not give up on that tefillah, but rather exert ourselves and rejoice with every small win!
- Grab What You Can! Sometimes, we can push ourselves to focus and connect during some parts of davening, but not nearly as much or for as long as we’d like. At this time, we need to learn to grab what we can, and appreciate whatever success we can hold onto! There is hardly anyone in the world who can stay perfectly focused throughout the entire davening. Our job is simply to try as best as we can in our circumstances, to focus on each part of davening, and to celebrate every success.
Hold onto these two opposing strategies simultaneously: 1) Try as hard as you can to connect with intent and closeness and 2) Be mesame’ach b’chelko, happy with your portion, and use every moment of connection you received to the fullest.
Understanding this balance is a tremendously important component of the inner work of serving Hashem. If we don’t feel satisfaction and joy from our spiritual successes, that feeling of never accomplishing can lead us to give up and despair. On the other hand, if we celebrate victory and success with every little thing, we may become complacent with our spiritual level, and never push ourselves to “raise the bar.”
We can strike the perfect balance by internalizing that we are serving the Creator of Heaven and Earth, who probes our hearts and knows everything about our inner workings! Hashem knows when we are authentically exerting ourselves beyond our comfort zone for His sake and when we aren’t.
The formula is simple – push yourself, then celebrate!
This article was found in Nekuda Tova Issue 4.